By facepalm - 15/10/2014 23:36 - United States - Gainesville

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 388
You deserved it 4 379

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Not gonna lie, that's a great image.

Is he having a hard time teaching them? =)


Not gonna lie, that's a great image.

lexiieeex3 32

"Great" isn't the word I would use...

The first thing I thought is "ouch, the claws, what if they clench?"

iLike2Teabag 27

If he got all 3 of them on there, that'd be quite an accomplishment.

It's all fun and games, until the bird bites! I used to have a African Grey, and let me tell you, that guy would make eye contact with you while he snapped a bone (chicken, from KFC) in half like it was a toothpick. Some of the bones we gave him were similar to fingers! Trust me! It's not the feet or claws you should really worry about.

Wow just Wow

incoherentrmblr 21

If only they were Cockatoos...

RedPillSucks 31

peckers on his pecker?

'Baby parakeets' = baby sized dick

Baby. Parakeets. One ounce, two inch tall, baby parakeets. Their beaks open millet spray. Not exactly a bone crusher like a large parrot. If the parakeet bit, which they don't usually, it'd be a small pinch.

it seems weird to me that you were feeding your bird chicken, another bird.

I have a severe macaw that loves chicken and scrambled eggs. Though his hands down favorite has to be sloppy joes.

Ya, we thought it was pretty bad too. But the bone marrow is very good for them. And he seemed to react like it was a treat. But I did at one point have chickens as well (not fed to the parrot). Fun Fact: Chickens are naturally cannibalistic! Yes, they will eat each other, and a common problem is, if they tasted their own eggs (one breaks on accident and they taste it). Because they like their own eggs enough that they will stop laying them for reproduction, and they would start eating the eggs! Chickens will also naturally kill off and eat any obviously weak or injured chickens! They are more savage than Kanye West's ego!

zRatio 6

Thats magneficent. Thats the right word that should be use to describe this image

Small pinch on the penis will still hurt like a bitch. It's just a bunch sensitive nerves down there.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

@109 Chickens will eat their own eggs, yes, because like the taste if they accidentally break an egg and then eat part of it. But they won't stop laying because of that, and it's entirely possible to break them of the habit (using wooden egg decoys in the nests as well as putting a ton black pepper in a broken egg and letting them taste it work well). Chickens in most normal circumstances will not kill each other; there is always a pecking order and some hens are lower and often get picked on. Keeping sick or weak birds with a healthy flock is a recipe for disaster as they will see the weakness and, yes, will attempt to kill the weak bird to keep predators away. This, as well as aggressive pecking, are extremely uncommon problems and are often caused by stress in a flock, such as having inadequate space per chicken, external parasites, and nutritional deficiencies of salt and sulfur. I'm only clarifying this because your comment made it sound like chickens often kill and eat each other. I can promise that they don't. :)

BasedComment 15

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That comment and your profile picture go very well together.

#27 Not really...

If you watch the magic school bus as a kid, you would understand.

It wasn't a pun though..

tantanpanda 26

does it have to be?

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Romantic?! She comes home to her boyfriend drunk with three chicks on his **** and you call it romantic? Where are the people who always say "I hope you mean ex bf/gf"?

Sorry to point this out but I'm pretty sure the "..." Shows she was being sarcastic

SystemofaBlink41 27

And I'm pretty sure #34 was also joking...

Thank you. I figured they would get that I was joking from "chicks" referring to bird chicks and not slang for women, but I've been wrong before.

You mean "Three Chicks One Dick " isn't going to be available on DVD ? Damn.

Just to clarify, yes it was sarcasm *she says hiding under the pile of down votes*

That's kinda funny, I gotta admit

Is he having a hard time teaching them? =)

Ha! How very punny of you.

a hard feat to acumplish. maybe he should try feeding the birds nuts as incentive? or maybe the birds weren't used to that kind of jungle. either way, his wood just wasnt right

Epikatz 22

I think feeding the birds nuts is a bad idea in this scenario...

#17 you tried way too hard

i went down with a valiant fight

diving_fml 30

#78 that wasn't valiant at all

If he's trying to train them, he must have them on a rigid diet plan.

chill99 15

I think it was only 2, but he wouldn't let you post that.

That's not what Polly wanted

RedPillSucks 31

well if he's a white guy...

Sounds more like Cockatiels

Wizardo 33

Wouldn't mind some Great Tits or even Blue Tits around there either I would presume.

Tits are a type of bird, for y'all who didn't find 22's comment funny.

Aww Poor bird

lexiieeex3 32

Well if he succeeded then that's quite an accomplishment.

Not really. They're baby parakeets