Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, I dropped in on my wife at her part time waitressing job. As I was leaving, I gave her tushie a playful squeeze. I was then tackled by some acne-ridden teenage blockhead trying to impress the hot waitress by beating up the guy groping her. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
Today, as a pizza delivery driver, I delivered to a customer with young kids. She gave the pizzas to one of her kids to take inside, where the kid dropped them and it went everywhere. She then rang the store and claimed that I'd dropped the pizzas, then told her to "suck it up." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Huey_Freeman 4
Maybe they're watching too many pornos and expect you to deliver an extra large "sausage" pizza...
gc327072 31
It's not delivery, it's a porno.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (211)
Sir_Crackerjacks 5
That is a common occurrence for pizza delivery guys?? Imma start tipping more!
mccaincracker 6
Unfortunately we see too much all too often.
jadedtiger 4
It is and trust me it's worse when it's a woman in her thirties that is wearing see thru stuff it makes me what to choke a bitch at times
mpalmiter 0
#77 let's not forget the fat, old, naked guys who answer the door or the the nasty looking people that don't stop having sex and just leave the money on the table. The horrible memories!
simonsaysYDI 8
My brother was a delivery driver for a little while, since his stories I've always just given them a 5 if the change happens to be more. I don't order in enough for it to be a big deal for me, but they should have at least one good house for the day D:
RedPillSucks 33
So, no more pepperoni pizza for you, huh?
joethebiden 8
Hell, man, I'd hit it. Chubby girls are the wildest ones and that's a fact.
RubyRae 2
I like you.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
I have a feeling that all the thumbs up this comment got were from "chubby" girls. LoL
TheDrudgeChild 4
There's a difference between chubby and a fat, unwashed swine.
Steve95401 49
The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'.
gc327072 31
15- All you need to do is recaption your picture "dat ass"
Warden1986 16
Maybe she wants you, to "use" her as your tip.
corruptedlol 2
I don't even know what to say about this. FYL.
ManInTheMachine 20
Then press FYL and shut the **** up.
redreynard 14
Sadly, those unholy creatures are the only thing keeping you in business.
Trix_Disorder 20
These are PEOPLE we're talking about here. You disgust me more than this FML.
redreynard 14
Don't take it out on me because the pizza guy doesn't want to see your ilk naked.
Trix_Disorder 20
I don't order pizza, but thanks for assuming, never mind assume that I'm obese.
Trix_Disorder 20
*assuming
redreynard 14
Am I allowed to assume that you're always this good at replying?
espeo92 2
I'm a pizza delivery guy too. Yesterday I totaled my car. Really sucks...
MizzErikaHart 8
Awww, fyl...
Michaelsgirl04 9
cool story bro. tell me more. -_-
supportcommand 17
I had a pizza guy trash his car pulling into my driveway. FHL because unless he told his insurance he uses his car for work they won't cover him.
SApprentice 34
Ugh, good luck. Next time they try to open the door naked, have your manager call and inform them that if they continue doing so, you will no longer deliver to them. I doubt your job is okay with that degree of employee abuse.
Enslaved 38
I push my fingers into my. . . Eyes It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
windfuelsfire 10
But it's made of all, the fatsos I have too taaake! Jesus it never ends, theyre so fat I wanna diiiiie! If the pain goes on, I'm GOING TO TORCH THEM ALL!
twofirstnames 12
Awesome band! But 27's version just kinda ruined the song :/
mikepzz 27
ah man that's brutal lol, maybe theyre trying to get with you...but remember RUN FROM THE GUNDAMAS!