Intimacy, Poopoo peepee and Wanker: Home alone

Home alone

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 17:00

Today, I was in the bathroom taking a massive dump, with the door closed, moaning and yelling to get it out, knowing I was home alone. When it was done, I walked out to see my mother on the couch who said, "I know masturbation is normal, but please try to do it while we're not here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 1 318

Intimacy Poopoo peepee Wanker

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 307

You deserved it 656

Open door policy

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 73

By seaweedlady - 21/06/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 965

You deserved it 4 871

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 732

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 819

You deserved it 11 955

By me - 08/06/2012 14:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 2 702

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 125

You deserved it 37 083

By whyme27 - 06/06/2012 01:19 - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 546

You deserved it 4 349

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 753

You deserved it 18 336

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 726

You deserved it 5 858

Plop 17

Monday 15 November 2021 17:24

Time to eat some freaking fiber dude.

draghkar 18

Tuesday 16 November 2021 0:54

“Who’s number two’s boss?!?”

Comments

Plop 17

Monday 15 November 2021 17:24

Time to eat some freaking fiber dude.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 15 November 2021 22:34

Listen well! With a name like Plop, he must know what he's talking about.

draghkar 18

Tuesday 16 November 2021 0:54

“Who’s number two’s boss?!?”

Royal Sataness 4

Tuesday 16 November 2021 8:47

see a Dr my dude. working that hard for a shit isn't normal

JasonThorn 19

Wednesday 17 November 2021 3:18

"Oh, no. I was just taking a dump the size of a birthday cake! I mean, I thought I was going to need a CROWBAR for it. Let me tell you what it looked like, and how it felt pushing...hey, where'd you go, Mom?"