Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, I dropped in on my wife at her part time waitressing job. As I was leaving, I gave her tushie a playful squeeze. I was then tackled by some acne-ridden teenage blockhead trying to impress the hot waitress by beating up the guy groping her. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
Today, as a pizza delivery driver, I delivered to a customer with young kids. She gave the pizzas to one of her kids to take inside, where the kid dropped them and it went everywhere. She then rang the store and claimed that I'd dropped the pizzas, then told her to "suck it up." FML
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Top comments
Huey_Freeman 4
Maybe they're watching too many pornos and expect you to deliver an extra large "sausage" pizza...
gc327072 31
It's not delivery, it's a porno.
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Comments (211)
CeltHound 14
How many is that so far?
somedude87 4
I deliver pizza too. Never had a woman answer naked, just old, shirtless men or fat men with pierced nipples. *shudder*
jadedtiger 4
I have one I get stuck delivering to on a reg basis that makes you lose your appetite and any sexual thoughts you might have had
linx468 8
Sexy. Did you screw the bitch?
berryblizzard 11
Oh.... Thought this only happened in movies... What is this world coming too.
linx468 8
To*. You're welcome.
zombiekitten87 12
Well, I'd definitely refuse to deliver to those places again.
EyesofStone 27
It's situations like this that turned my eyes into stone. Shudder.
aileen15 15
what's up with all you guys hating on big girls there no different then any other person that's pretty fuckedup of u guys sayin all that shit there not creatures they're people too ******* dumbasses society is just so cruel now a days no one can ever be accepted for who they are anymore it's just sad and pitiful
neelvasishta 7
who the **** answers the door naked?
aileen15 15
yeah that is totally uncalled for I'd be disgusted by anyone answering the door naked but all the other commenters are callin fat girls all these sad comments like there creatures which is fuckedup to me cus were all people
ilovesarcasm 18
88- I do hope you know that you condone answering the door naked when the pizza guy arrives and cases of full body acne with that "comment" of yours. The fact that she is a big gal compounds the fact that she is covered in polka dots basically. This gal is not like everyone else. We wear clothes to answer the door. If she were clothed no one would "hate" on her and there wouldn't be an FML. Oh, and you may need these next time: * . , ; ! ? and *they're. You made my head hurt.
ilovesarcasm 18
Edit: Just saw your last comment. Yikes, nevermind. *backs away*
aileen15 15
I wasn't talking about op's fml I was talkin about the other commenters saying all those rude comments about big girls maybe u should my comment again and yeah like I said before that's totally uncalled for answering the door naked that's disgusting for any person to see that make or female and oh shutup this isn't school if it made ur head hurt as u say then why did u read my comment and reply back?if u care so much go teach your grammer101 to someone else cus I really dnt care :D
aileen15 15
*male or female
nuffsaidboutthat 4
88 - I'm with you completely, unfortunately the fml community is teaming with horrible people who have no clue what it's like not to be "normal sized". I'm 7 ft tall and have been teased and ostracized my entire life for it. Proud of you for speaking up!!
aileen15 15
101-oh wow your tall lol I'm 5 ft and I know no one knows what perfect is cause there is no such thing as perfect never was and never will be and I'm sorry youve been teased for your size I'd kick them haha but I've been teased my whole life too for bein short n kinda chubby I guess it's just part of a obstacle in life it makes It makes u stronger though and aw thanks I jus like standing up for people who judge it's messed up to me I'm just too Blunt sometimes which gets me in trouble but idc I can say whatever I want if it seems wrong to me:)
julieanne719 0
Really? That is all you feel the need to correct? And the fact that she's big AND has body acne means she isn't just a little big, it means she simply doesn't take care of herself, never mind the fact that she has no shame.
ItsDebo 1
This girl is not "big" this girl is fat, something scientifically proven to be physically unhealthy and known to be unappealing. Anyone that says they can't help it is full of crap(excusing legit medical conditions) if you don't like it then EXERCISE and don't stay home jacking off on chat roulette and eating pizzas constantly. Shit like this is why we are the most obese country in the world, quit acting like you have a disability and deserve special treatment.
Shrike 24
"shit like this is why we are the most obese country in the world" OP's from Canada. Not everything happens in the USA, you know.
ItsDebo 1
The op of this comment is from the US, the girl referenced in the FML never said anything that could be replied to, dumbass.
Shrike 24
Nobody mentioned the USA before your comment, so when you suddenly start talking about "our country" you sound like you think the USA is the focal point of the whole world and that you're assuming the OP's from there. Next time just say the name of the country, "dumbass."
ItsDebo 1
I know it makes you feel important to pretend that I was, but I was talking to the OP of this comment, NOT you. So I could give two ***** if you aren't mentally agile enough to make the proper connections. Not my fault you tards all post separate comments in other peoples replies so they get noticed.
ItsDebo 1
Awe snap! Fat mod in da house! I s they're mad that people agree
aileen15 15
106-op did say teenager so maybe that's why she has body acne plus I was talkin about the other commenters saying rude things about big girls like they're some kind of creature when there not that's what I'm defending I totally agree on that the girl has no shame anwsering a door naked,who does that? that's jus pure disgusting .youre missin my point where there is no need to say those comments about big grls like there a creature or something cus there not but society is messed up.
Silent_Thrill 17
#88- I can give you a little hope in the kindness of humanity. I love the bigger girls, to be honest, and I agree with you that all these people need to stop saying this rude stuff about the girl. Unless it's about her being a pig since she had no shame opening the door nude.
IndigoFuckYou 9
Babe, as a teenage girl that's almost 200 pounds myself, I disagree with what you're saying. If people want to hate on chicks that need to lose weight it just gives us more motivation, right? Free speech, and opinion, and whatever. And as for the situation in general...if you're 200 lbs and covered in zits, you should have a pretty good grasp on the fact that you aren't seductive and should keep your clothes on unless you KNOW your boyfriend wants them off of you. Basic human decency and humility.
thgiL 9
88- this isnt a nowadays situation it has always happened
CCDNRGD81411 3
Itt:shes fat. Thumb me down gogogogogo
aileen15 15
exactly what I meant finally someone my point thank u!!!
aileen15 15
*finally someone gets my point!!!
aileen15 15
154-yeah exactly no one should answer the door naked that's just nasty and wrong I was just speaking for all the other commenters saying messed up n hurtful words about big people which is uncalled for In my opinion
sulitak 27
#106 actually acne doesn't mean that the person is unclean. at all. Pimples can get worse on someone who doesn't wash, but I've been told by dermatologists that it (pimples mainly) can be caused by something as simple as using the wrong kind of soap for your skin.
sulitak 27
154... really? because people teasing me never made me do anything but feel like crap. it didn't "inspire me" or any of that shit.
BobbieH 19
That is not in your job description! How are you so fortunate to have multiple instances where you see overweight, acne covered, naked girls? I can only imagine the disturbing nightmares you're having. Maybe you can repress the images some day.
ilovesarcasm 18
Would you feel better OP if a legal aged gal of proper weight ratio and clear skin answered the door naked? She wouldn't sleep with you. That never happens and you would still be on FML only with blue balls.. I hope you see the bright side to my comment.