Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, I dropped in on my wife at her part time waitressing job. As I was leaving, I gave her tushie a playful squeeze. I was then tackled by some acne-ridden teenage blockhead trying to impress the hot waitress by beating up the guy groping her. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
Today, as a pizza delivery driver, I delivered to a customer with young kids. She gave the pizzas to one of her kids to take inside, where the kid dropped them and it went everywhere. She then rang the store and claimed that I'd dropped the pizzas, then told her to "suck it up." FML
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Top comments
Huey_Freeman 4
Maybe they're watching too many pornos and expect you to deliver an extra large "sausage" pizza...
gc327072 31
It's not delivery, it's a porno.
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Comments (211)
pabst4america 1
**** it I'll see some free ****
Ugi 27
Interesting how we don't get the salad delivery guy on here with the same problem! FYL anyway.
Sniper_Chick 14
Lol, watching too much **** i suspect. Do they try and mumble something sexy when they answer the door?
maybso 0
probably wet dreams
aerogxt 7
Free sex!!!
cookiecaek 11
I guess she wanted extra cheese.
ZombieKitteh 8
that shit happened to you more than once? what the hell ><
creamyalfredo 2
2.5 years delivering I never had that happen to me Golding looking women or even ugly ones
The_9th_Doctor 18
did you at least get a tip?
F_Your_Life_001 0
That is so ******* rude! I can guarantee that you're probably not that good looking either. Stop judging people based on how they look!
Tyrez 32
I don't think you understand... Being ugly gross or disgusting is a fact not something one can judge. To judge you have to assume things about one's character based on how they look, which OP did not do.