Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, I dropped in on my wife at her part time waitressing job. As I was leaving, I gave her tushie a playful squeeze. I was then tackled by some acne-ridden teenage blockhead trying to impress the hot waitress by beating up the guy groping her. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
Today, as a pizza delivery driver, I delivered to a customer with young kids. She gave the pizzas to one of her kids to take inside, where the kid dropped them and it went everywhere. She then rang the store and claimed that I'd dropped the pizzas, then told her to "suck it up." FML
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Top comments
Huey_Freeman 4
Maybe they're watching too many pornos and expect you to deliver an extra large "sausage" pizza...
gc327072 31
It's not delivery, it's a porno.
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Comments (211)
kross86 2
I'm still trying to wrap my head around how even 1 overweight, self conscious, teenage girl with low self esteem and bad acne even gets the balls to answer the door naked, let alone more than that.
your_face 15
You don't know that she's self conscious or lacks self esteem. Maybe she's proud of her fluff.
patrickalamo 48
Know your customer base
purplemnm 9
I have feeling since I ordered pizza last night...I WAS WEARING A BIG HOODIE AND I HAVE POISON IVY, IT'S POISON IVY!!
Jessy713 6
Wow! Naked? That is gross the least she can do is invest in a robe.
Lehk 9
so.... you hit that and paid for her pizza out of pocket, right?
88vivera 9
Change ur job!
DylansMomma 9
Your comment : Why was she naked is the real question here.
razbery_nerd 4
?! That's happened more than once!?
Anubis_81 21
How many have you seen? That is just a little ridiculous.
punkrockess 7
You're a delivery guy and you're judging someone who is paying you for a service. Either get a new job or get into therapy, and have some respect!!!
greeneye_fml 12
Are you ******* serious? You're probably a fat pig who answers the door naked too. Disgusting. Get some basic dignity.