Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, I dropped in on my wife at her part time waitressing job. As I was leaving, I gave her tushie a playful squeeze. I was then tackled by some acne-ridden teenage blockhead trying to impress the hot waitress by beating up the guy groping her. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
Today, as a pizza delivery driver, I delivered to a customer with young kids. She gave the pizzas to one of her kids to take inside, where the kid dropped them and it went everywhere. She then rang the store and claimed that I'd dropped the pizzas, then told her to "suck it up." FML
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Top comments
Huey_Freeman 4
Maybe they're watching too many pornos and expect you to deliver an extra large "sausage" pizza...
gc327072 31
It's not delivery, it's a porno.
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Comments (211)
devon8823 4
I understand but I'm a girl delivey driver I'm a bit more lucky then you I sometimes see hot men in towels.
skyeyez9 25
If they leave nice tips I'd keep delivering. Its a few seconds of nasty shit you have to see. Then you get money.
ceccles628 6
I was going to say that this was rude, but then I read it over and saw the word naked. Sorry OP.
natalia18oo 12
I don't understand why she was naked! Is that normal for people to order a pizza then open the door naked??!
sulitak 27
no... its really not.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Clearly I'm in the wrong line of work.
ryggsekk 8
but that sounds nothing like in the pornos. when you meet up at the door and the exchange are done, you should say -ohh sorry, did you want sausage with that* and then but up a really great grinn
invisibleman8472 17
Dude I know I deliver pizza too, why can't these fat people wear a moo moo or something
sulitak 27
maybe because moo moo make you look worse and no one should have to do more to cover up just because you (or anyone else) don't like their size... Not everyone likes stick thin chicks: and its wrong to pick on them. Not everyone likes big/little/whatever men and no one should pick on them Note: I don't think ANYONE should answer the door naked. at all. and everyone should follow common courtesy and cover up their sexual parts/private parts/swimsuit area/whatever the hell you want to call it.
talloctopus 7
:(
linkinpark98 24
Thanks. Me eating this pizza is not helping me either.
Karbo_fml 2
You're a piece of shit, ya know that right? how rude to say that about someone.
RubyRae 2
Thank you for saying this.
misswright 0
Disagree, if you don't have the basic self respect to put it away don't order take out no matter who you are. Also not everyone likes to see people who lack self hygiene.
punkrockess 7
Having acne isn't due to poor hygiene, if you knew how to use google you'd realise this...