By UkuleleTime - 23/06/2015 08:07 - United States - Garner

Spicy
Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 851
You deserved it 2 414
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Top comments

Steve95401 49

Pumping yourself with a pump sounds painful.

190 6

Comments

boating_guy 33

I originally read the FML thinking OP was female. Now you make me wonder if OP is male. Either way, what the ****.

66 4
jazmin3012 28

Your profile picture fits perfectly as a reaction to this FML

26 2
Steve95401 49

Pumping yourself with a pump sounds painful.

190 6
iLike2Teabag 27

But isn't that what all the other kids with the pumped up kicks are doing?

68 3
Enslaved 36

Don't worry about the pain, it'll heel.

101 1
MrSassypants 32

The show never fits if you know what I mean.... What I mean is I need a much smaller shoe.

4 24
hotheadslav 17

That is honestly really disturbing OP, maybe you should have a talk with your roommate about what stuff they can and can't use to pleasure their self.. Hopefully that never happens again

53 4
Seabass_Chan 33

The fact that a conversation like that is even necessary says quite a bit about OP's roommate.

61 1
Cocoapelli 23

Short conversation. "Anything that's not my stuff." Right? There's no exceptions to that, are there?

28 1
5secondsofvvifi 21

Wait.. People still own crocs? People still SELL crocs? I mean I get little kids might like them because they can kind of design them a bit but...

11 3
random_man1999 11

There are actually some nice crocs, just not the holed ones

1 8
drunkturtle 14

I'm wondering how you would even do that The toe or the heel? So many questions

48 2
jtthegr8 26

I'm guessing you just stick it in here and hope you figure it out eventually. Or if it's a heel, then you can use the heel if it's long enough I guess.

12 1
jtthegr8 26

The other half didn't make it :( Assuming roommate is a female, I suppose you could use a thicker, more rounded heel

12 1
Mauskau 35

Depending on the shape, you could use the toe because that usually has a rubber bit on the end, so it won't be squishy it'll be quite rough, and in the right places it can do the job. I mean umm, OP's roommate is weird, don't use something that's possibly stepped in puddles of piss and everything else, use something clean which is also easy to clean. I Googled this, I swear...

5 11
PePziNL 20

70: You put way too much thought into that.

17 0
drunkturtle 14

Come join us at fml, where we have discussions about how to pleasure yourself with a shoe

22 0
MrConcise 34

Sold, now tell me how to do it if I have a penis.

10 2
MrConcise 34

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
8 66
stingray112 24

Do whatever works I guess which in this case it's himself (assuming it's a guy)

0 21
DocBastard 38

The Internet has made it possible for anything to be a sexual object. Even me. Rule 34: NO exceptions.

53 6
MrConcise 34

Oh dear, do I have to look up Docbastard **** now?

29 12
MrConcise 34

Google was not very helpful, my search wasn't the least bit fruitful.

5 4