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By  abi96  |  0

'kay guys, I just arrived back in the country after nipple-kayaking across the Atlantic, just so I could get first post to make an incredibly inane comment. Yeah, that's right, NIPPLE-KAYAKING, you got a problem with that, people? Don't expect remorse from me like all those other bastards who get first post, Christ no, I'm a cold-blooded, heartless murderer of nipple elasticity.

That said, I do engage in intimate relations with the recently-deceased on occasion, which I feel slightly bad about, but that doesn't really make me a bad person, right? Right? Anyway, I have a pending prostate exam slash erotic noobfest with DocBastard, so I'm out. Wee-woo.

By  abi96  |  0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

  Zmeilerr  |  22

Make sure it's a finger he shoves up your ass, and not some knife or other lethal weapon. This is the usual punishment for shouting "FIRST!!" or some other shortened word/sentence plainly just to get the title of number 1. I guess what I'm really trying to say is: No one gives a flying fuck if you're first. If you all you had to say was "first!" or some other shortened word just to get number 1 you're pathetic. If you would just post something constructive and relevant to the topic you'll get more respect and not look like a stupid pathetic twat. It shouldn't matter what number you are, because frankly, no one cares.

  KingDingALing  |  9

Oh Jesus Christ! Another one?! First it was nipple-tweaking, then nipple-fiddling, and now nipple-kayaking. What's next? Nipple-tickle? *Sigh*
Ok, listen up a-hole because I'm not going to say this twice.

Shove a stick up your ass. I just learned that Theodore Roosevelt did something calle the Big Stick Diplomacy. I'm changing that to Big Stick Up The A-hole. As a matter of fact, I'm so tired of telling people like you to shove a stick up your ass that you should shove the stick DOWN your THROAT so that you can choke and die a slow, painful death. Maybe then, you'll learn your goddamn lesson. Jesus Christ...

There, now that I got that out of my system, I can continue writing my response speech for the next guy that screams "first!"