By Limalia - 24/01/2011 21:00 - Switzerland

Spicy
Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 224
You deserved it 10 544

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what the fuck?

On the bright side, orgasms are cheaper than rings!

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what the fuck?

Make sure it's a finger he shoves up your ass, and not some knife or other lethal weapon. This is the usual punishment for shouting "FIRST!!" or some other shortened word/sentence plainly just to get the title of number 1. I guess what I'm really trying to say is: No one gives a flying fuck if you're first. If you all you had to say was "first!" or some other shortened word just to get number 1 you're pathetic. If you would just post something constructive and relevant to the topic you'll get more respect and not look like a stupid pathetic twat. It shouldn't matter what number you are, because frankly, no one cares.

His "first" comment was changed by one of the mods...

Oh Jesus Christ! Another one?! First it was nipple-tweaking, then nipple-fiddling, and now nipple-kayaking. What's next? Nipple-tickle? *Sigh* Ok, listen up a-hole because I'm not going to say this twice. Shove a stick up your ass. I just learned that Theodore Roosevelt did something calle the Big Stick Diplomacy. I'm changing that to Big Stick Up The A-hole. As a matter of fact, I'm so tired of telling people like you to shove a stick up your ass that you should shove the stick DOWN your THROAT so that you can choke and die a slow, painful death. Maybe then, you'll learn your goddamn lesson. Jesus Christ... There, now that I got that out of my system, I can continue writing my response speech for the next guy that screams "first!"

36 e didn't even say first

Moderated in 3....2.....1.................

that's how my uncle died...

I'm going to have to defer the prostate exam to my friend Louis. Louisville Slugger, that is.

lol mods are cruel!

I don't quite frankly think you get this thing people call "respect" from posting a comment, let alone being first doesn't do anything either.

you're a legend

abi96: You are a total idiot just get the fuck out and shut your damn mouth

Oh god, Sirin. Why...............

Sounds like an honest mistake.

she's a keeper, which is ironic.

That's great. Hey she knows what she wants!

Well... I don't know what to say.....

for once a women just wants to get laid! lol poor dood he wants more, damn horny women!

You obviously don't know too many women than huh?

Yeah lol. I can say from working with women that they're worse than men. Us men are just more crude about it.

well then chug a red bull and let her have it pal.

That was a vague way of telling you that you're a crappy lover.

If you choose to stay with her, good luck giving in on her demands. I hear that's a toughy.

aren't you the guy from pokemon colosseum? lol

There's no way he can keep up with her demands with his peanut sized dick. He needs to hire some professionals to "get the job done".

guess he has to go buy some dildos!

Well, at least you know what to do now.

how romantic (:

Give her my cell number. :p

On the bright side, orgasms are cheaper than rings!

Not if you are not capable of giving her one.

Then the hired prostitutes just get expensive...

hshahaha xD nice!

and cheaper than divorces!

just work on her clit for a while. she'll orgasm. trust me.

YDI for having a peanut for a dick. U should consider hiring professionals to "get the job done".