Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML
Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
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Top comments
colby6666 43
Get payback with their sock? FYL
Steve95401 49
Pumping yourself with a pump sounds painful.
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Comments (110)
S_Gnu 17
Imagining this not with a small dress shoe but instead a giant, smelly hiking boot makes it a lot funnier.
ILikeKoalas 24
Yuck… it's horrible to imagine someone wanting to stick a shoe up their ******, I mean she doesn't know where that shoe could have been!
HighasaCloud 46
Or the roommate was sticking his penis in OP's shoe. Why are you making assumptions?
ILikeKoalas 24
I did think that the roommate could be a man. But you can't really stick your penis in a shoe and get pleasure from that. (But hey who knows, I don't have one).
RedPillSucks 33
you don't have any shoes?
ILikeKoalas 24
The key wording in my comment was "one" not "a pair of shoes". And "one" meaning I don't have a dick. ?
townailz 16
It would still be bad if it wasn't your shoe
FragrantSalmon 12
This is why I stay in Gotham....
annarcheer 19
It's still bad your shoe or not.
Incognico 22
At the bright site: it keeps the leather smooth
luk32 9
I am disturbingly interested in the genders of persons involved... and type of shoes. Seems like such a creative stuff that goes completely beyond my imagination.
openminded8 17
WTFF?! ... i'm cringing at the bacteria, foot fungus, athlete's foot.... ?
vikky538 29
Just wondering was your rommate wearing a sock at that time or no?
joshi42 16
What gender is your roommate?