By PerfectBoyfriend - 07/06/2016 16:38 - Belgium - Reet

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 295
You deserved it 1 899

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I'm really not sure how she could mistake brushing teeth with masturbating... Maybe if you were a girl I could understand, but otherwise I'm just confused by the whole thing. On another note, are you not allowed to masturbate? That's a weird situation in itself.

Maybe you should stop using that electric toothbrush and moaning loudly in pleasure. I know brushing teeth is nearly orgasmic, but come on.

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You must *really* love having clean teeth

This comment made my day.

#1 comment=winner!!! ding ding ding!!!

Maybe you should stop using that electric toothbrush and moaning loudly in pleasure. I know brushing teeth is nearly orgasmic, but come on.

You must moan loudly ... Minty fresh

I'm really not sure how she could mistake brushing teeth with masturbating... Maybe if you were a girl I could understand, but otherwise I'm just confused by the whole thing. On another note, are you not allowed to masturbate? That's a weird situation in itself.

It doesn't say OP's gender, lesbians?

Are you suggesting "PerfectBoyfriend" is a girl, #7?

I don't care if my boyfriend masturbates unless I'm horny and he didn't try for sex first. Cause if he just masturbated he doesn't wanna have sec and hello if I'm right here and you turn me down for a hand... Yeah I'd be pissed

@10 To play devil's advocate, PerfectBoyfriend could be referring to a potential vibrator… but seeing as how the male symbol is right there next to this FML, I'm gonna go with nah.

It's okay. I'm female and I don't get it either.

My ex-wife used to have an issue with my masturbating. "Just come to me if you're horny" so I did "I am not in the mood" and I am fine with her not being in the mood but that's why I masturbate!

Twist- it could be HER special toothbrush.. And he was savoring the flavor..

Maybe it's time to stop deep throating the toothbrush..

A few questions here- 1) Why the fuck would she have the right to pissed unless she told you she had to use it or you two had to get going somewhere? 2) Also, how do you confuse the two in the first place? How the hell does an electric (or normal) toothbrush make a moaning or gasping sound while being brushed against your teeth?

I normally have some visual materials while brushing my teeth. I like to look at pictures of nice, clean smiles while moving the brush back and forth. I'm sure my teeth would be devastated if they found out, but it makes the experience so much better once I reach that two minute mark.

Best comment that I've read in a while. Lol

#9 As always your comments never disappoint.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah baby, do you like that? I'm going to pound you so hard you dirty cavities!"

My father told me there was a study conducted about sexual practices that learned two facts. 98% of men admit to masturbating. The others fact was 4% of men are Liars.

Also that 97.83% of statistics read on the Internet are made up.

There are 3 types of people in this world. Those that can count and those that can't. Where does 14 fall in this equation?