Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML
Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
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Top comments
colby6666 43
Get payback with their sock? FYL
Steve95401 49
Pumping yourself with a pump sounds painful.
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Comments (110)
carcinoid 17
a new take on shove it up your ass
LazyLion 12
Shoelace for autoerotic asphyxiation?
samlovesham1234 9
Your roomie has a foot fetish.
vandahalas_fml 11
"pleasuring yourself woth a shoe"? how?what?why?
Zebediabolical 45
Haven't you ever heard of someone getting bootfucked? Well. You've witnessed it!
Shadow3339 4
Roommate likes your feet ha-ha. Don't fall asleep barefoot
RedPillSucks 33
Chuck Taylor's, or stilettos?
PinkWalls 12
Maybe your shoe was asking for it
RedPillSucks 33
could have been worse. you could have been wearing it at the time.
iSaidPluh 2
I can't picture it on either gender