By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 65 716
You deserved it 4 907

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Now is the time to go masturbate in their bed.


There can only be one!

KyraJFoxx 14

That would be beyond gross. Unless that's the kind of thing they're into. I say go with option B: invest in a lock if you don't already have one -- Hope you find a way to work this out , good luck OP

CommonSenseKarma 17

A "roommate" means that they're in the same room. That's like locking his roommate out of their whole room when he's not there. Lol

there's another FML about a girl walking in on her brother giving his friend a hand job......not you,is it?

KyraJFoxx 14

#21 , I understand "roommate" usually means more than one person sharing the same room and of course OP can't lock his 'roommate' out if that's the case but sometimes people say it meaning the person they live with. Like living in the same apartment or something (with seperate rooms) Not just "sharing a room".

AboveAll04 14

that means they would have to have a sword fight...and then someone would have to get castrated for there to only be one !

chlorinegreen 27

I have a feeling you did something that really pissed him off OP.

"There can be only one" ~Highlander

whiteboy896 9

back to back right now!

Maybe he wants to be in your bed.... with you ;)

If they're roommates they share a dorm, apartment, townhouse, or a room, locking the other out wouldn't be fair.

Now is the time to go masturbate in their bed.

Excuse me while I go into my chamber of disgrace for no less than 30 days.

ordonblade46 3

Lol! Here, take my up vote.

I can rest in peace now. :p

Invest in some sturdy locks.

The roommate has invested in some sturdy socks!

sammyjanette 17

What if they live in the same room?

NagainaFier 16

Buddy, do you not understand the concept of the term? Do a damn google search...

Do it in his bed then!

dreamweeper370 10

Time to install a lock. Gross.

generalasskicker 12

Yeah that the only right way to handle this

Video tape him, use it as blackmail.

... but only if you think you'd find the criminal conviction for that entertaining.

Maybe he's attached to the bed. I would suggest switching beds in that case.

if he allows himself to masturbate in his roommate's bed, WHO KNOWS what he allows himself to do in his own bed!

Yea! Maybe he uses his offhand! Whata daredevil!

Well... why don't you masturbate in his bed? See how he feels. But then again... he could like it that you masturbated in his bed... now where will this be going.

I would say this could only head in one direction....

One direction? ONE DIRECTION!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! *Previous FML reference*

KareBear7364 5

You should buy a lock for your room...and some new sheets of course.