Intimacy: Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring...

By UkuleleTime - 23/06/2015 08:07 - United States - Garner

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 851

You deserved it 2 414

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Same thing different taste

By Cold feet - 07/04/2019 12:00 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 584

You deserved it 170

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 781

You deserved it 4 921

By anon - 22/05/2015 02:22 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 307

You deserved it 2 167

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 291

You deserved it 830

By gassy - 12/02/2013 14:18 - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 147

You deserved it 35 658

By Grrr - 20/07/2012 07:58 - United States - Salem

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 374

You deserved it 2 077

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 229

You deserved it 7 060

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:04 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 279

You deserved it 4 478

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 104

You deserved it 3 346

Weirdo

By Alcina - 10/07/2021 14:01 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I learned that my friend's "No shoes in the house" rule was only told to me so he had an excuse to see my feet. I found out when he had a group of us over and I was the only one barefoot, while he didn't care that everyone else had shoes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 96

colby6666 43

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:21

Get payback with their sock? FYL

Steve95401 49

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:21

Pumping yourself with a pump sounds painful.

Comments

colvindj 22

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:41

this would be hilarious if you had Nike shoes. "just do it"

stieglar 17

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:42

I mean now he knows what it's like to be in your shoes.

daddysgirl243 21

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:45

that's kinda kinky

IWishIWasObama 12

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:46

You can get off on your own foot smell! You're sick!

tormcn 26

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:47

Maybe s(he) likes you?

shmoooopie 29

Tuesday 23 June 2015 23:36

Well I know when I like someone I like to make sweet love to their footwear

LunarCat 3

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:48

Not that rare, if it's a male with a foot fetish. Lock up your shoes!

amileah13 26

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:50

My first thought after reading this was, ew that's unsanitary!

WOTAN1488 24

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:50

Just **** It ;)

kingnothing123x 11

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:51

Better boil it them

daughternature 7

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:52

That's disgusting, and doesn't sound pleasurable at all.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Money Cute Kids Health Love Weird Awkward Relatable Abuse Scams Social Media School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Miscellaneous Relationship advice Capitalism Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, my crush let me know that he has a prom date. Obviously I'm supportive because I just want him to be happy, even if it's not me. I casually let him know that I'm going with someone else too, and now he's really mad about it. If he'd asked me before, I would've said yes. Like… Hello? How dare I get a prom date! FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 93

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 15 971

The Top

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 386

You deserved it 8 450

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 675

You deserved it 3 330

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 1 728

Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 253

You deserved it 43 635

Today, my parents were out and about, leaving me alone in the house. They said they would leave some lunch for me. I couldn't find it. After telling them when they got home, my mom got huffy and showed me that it was in a place I would have never thought to look. She then got even more mad when I was annoyed by this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 447

Today, and since New Year's Day, my husband has instituted a lateness jar. I have to put £1 in every time my “pissing about getting ready makes us more than 10 minutes late.” I really tried to embarrass him with how empty it would be, but he counted it today. It’s only mid February and it’s already over £100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 1 047

Same thing different taste

Weirdo

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