Intimacy: Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring...

By UkuleleTime - 23/06/2015 08:07 - United States - Garner

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 851

You deserved it 2 414

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Same thing different taste

By Cold feet - 07/04/2019 12:00 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 584

You deserved it 170

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 781

You deserved it 4 921

By anon - 22/05/2015 02:22 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 307

You deserved it 2 167

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 291

You deserved it 830

By gassy - 12/02/2013 14:18 - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 147

You deserved it 35 658

By Grrr - 20/07/2012 07:58 - United States - Salem

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 374

You deserved it 2 077

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 229

You deserved it 7 060

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:04 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 279

You deserved it 4 478

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 104

You deserved it 3 346

Weirdo

By Alcina - 10/07/2021 14:01 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I learned that my friend's "No shoes in the house" rule was only told to me so he had an excuse to see my feet. I found out when he had a group of us over and I was the only one barefoot, while he didn't care that everyone else had shoes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 96

colby6666 43

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:21

Get payback with their sock? FYL

Steve95401 49

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:21

Pumping yourself with a pump sounds painful.

Comments

nitrog100 21

Wednesday 24 June 2015 4:57

Are you male or female? And your roommate?

preggoeggo68 10

Wednesday 24 June 2015 6:22

Someone better be getting a famous footwear gift card soon...

wallmaria 15

Wednesday 24 June 2015 6:36

foot fetish? lol

Fmlsea 28

Wednesday 24 June 2015 6:49

wth a shoe ? must have alot of space in there to fit a shoe .eewwwwwwww!

Cyker 6

Wednesday 24 June 2015 7:24

If the shoe fits...

Asterrahl 15

Wednesday 24 June 2015 9:32

I do believe it's a thing, if I'm not mistaken I believe it's customary to sniff it deeply in the process. Some sort of fetish, perhaps

afrostybird 25

Wednesday 24 June 2015 13:00

Is your roommate male or female? Can't decide which is worse..

Solano2580 24

Wednesday 24 June 2015 15:02

Male or Female?

ProSwimmerFL 16

Thursday 25 June 2015 7:56

Guy or girl room mate ?

sourknickers 4

Friday 26 June 2015 1:37

I hope you didn't tread in any dog sh*t in them!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 409

You deserved it 8 930

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 61

The Top

Today, my twin sister gave birth and somehow now weighs less than before she was pregnant. She also has huge boobs now and not a stretch mark in sight. Meanwhile, I’m still carrying an extra 15 pounds, even though I gave birth 5 years ago, and so many stretch marks I look like a fat zebra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 322

Today, my housemate blew chunks all over the freshly-painted walls in the bathroom. The paint was still wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 202

You deserved it 380

Today, I'd been saving for months to go on a whiskey tour of Kentucky. Eight distilleries. My wife signed up for an online university. The tuition is covered. But, do you know what isn't covered? The books. The laptop. Getting internet for the house. Goodbye whiskey; hello university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 943

Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 353

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend in bed with another guy. On top of it all he stole my favorite underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 423

You deserved it 1 076

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 971

You deserved it 6 304

Same thing different taste

Weirdo

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