By Traffickills - United States - Hyattsville Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend, we were stuck behind a 7-car accident for 2 hours in the car. FML I agree, your life sucks 19366 You deserved it 4980 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML I agree, your life sucks 30976 You deserved it 3569 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SorrySnowWhite - United States - Baltimore Today, I yelled at a new employee for violating the company's makeup policy which is minimum coverage. She had red lipstick, very dark drawn eyebrows, and foundation that made her look like a ghost. She took out a makeup wipe and used it then showed me it, only to reveal she doesn't wear any. FML I agree, your life sucks 5890 You deserved it 14880 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By soembarrassed - Australia Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 47358 You deserved it 12421 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Romford Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 31338 You deserved it 3291 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dick the Greater Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML I agree, your life sucks 60137 You deserved it 10260 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By goin4broke - United States Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML I agree, your life sucks 63956 You deserved it 6892 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jacks_smirking_revenge - United States Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML I agree, your life sucks 23599 You deserved it 52246 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2245 You deserved it 223 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thefailwhale - United States - Hartford Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML I agree, your life sucks 30934 You deserved it 5301 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sylverster - Singapore Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML I agree, your life sucks 16721 You deserved it 56683 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zzdug - United States Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML I agree, your life sucks 30004 You deserved it 5865 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jinxofsocal - United States Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML I agree, your life sucks 66198 You deserved it 27494 235 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JC - United States Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML I agree, your life sucks 29463 You deserved it 9817 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mal2222 - United States Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML I agree, your life sucks 15246 You deserved it 35044 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Cass Lyles" It was a phone call Today, I was talking to my fiancé on the phone. I said "alright see you in 10 minutes babe". My boss must have thought I was talking to him because he said "alright (my name) see you later". FML I agree, your life sucks 1731 You deserved it 263 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Canada Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML I agree, your life sucks 34640 You deserved it 4679 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sixxie - United States Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML I agree, your life sucks 33716 You deserved it 2277 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By princev - United States Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML I agree, your life sucks 11571 You deserved it 112510 354 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By robinhoood - United States Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML I agree, your life sucks 85880 You deserved it 3597 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Blacktown Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML I agree, your life sucks 34704 You deserved it 4310 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London Today, I had to give up going to a therapist because it was too expensive and my parents couldn't afford it. Meanwhile, a girl in my class is getting a therapist for her dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 21874 You deserved it 1673 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By minaaaaajftw - Norway - Jessheim Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML I agree, your life sucks 7705 You deserved it 37473 174 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I found out my fiancé can't wear his ring at his parents house cause his mom and dad don’t want him to marry me, and it has nothing to do with me. They don’t like my parents so I’m not good enough for their son. FML I agree, your life sucks 2980 You deserved it 175 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Smithville Today, I went to my cousin's house. I left my bag on the couch as my aunt instructed, only for my cousin to take it and throw it into the swimming pool. My laptop, textbooks and notes were soaked. My exam is in a week, and my aunt won't punish her perfect little angel. FML I agree, your life sucks 31201 You deserved it 1788 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML I agree, your life sucks 44624 You deserved it 4337 217 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hayls5 - United States Today, I was driving with a friend when we saw a wallet in the middle of his neighborhood road. When we picked it up, we saw it was loaded with cash. We drove to the mans house to return the wallet, and when we handed it to him he told us "I would give you a reward but I don't have any cash." FML I agree, your life sucks 49981 You deserved it 5955 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WittyMoron - United Kingdom Shooting! Today, I was out shooting pigeons with my brother. I decided to climb a tree to get a better view of where they were flying in from. As I perched on a branch and surveyed the skies, my idiot brother mistook me for a pigeon and shot me in the leg. FML I agree, your life sucks 1018 You deserved it 3176 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML I agree, your life sucks 15974 You deserved it 45610 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jlover42 - United States Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 64754 You deserved it 18313 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By clo_bo Today, I saw a message on my boyfriend's phone from one of his friends, saying I was a downgrade from his ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 1690 You deserved it 176 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By F- Forever Today, out of spite, I wrote "Ms. Piggy" instead of my professor's actual name in the heading of my essay. Guess what I forgot to do before turning it in. FML I agree, your life sucks 935 You deserved it 4930 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unknown - Canada Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 4469 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML I agree, your life sucks 41748 You deserved it 3154 171 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unemployed - United States Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML I agree, your life sucks 155470 You deserved it 7432 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By look how totally not racist I am! - United States - Salida Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML I agree, your life sucks 45971 You deserved it 3982 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML I agree, your life sucks 8183 You deserved it 44874 193 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FlGirl - United States Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 11676 You deserved it 33932 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML I agree, your life sucks 30417 You deserved it 2989 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Arsinoe - United Kingdom Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML I agree, your life sucks 32792 You deserved it 2608 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Janice - Canada Today, while jogging, I realized my face jiggles more than my breasts. FML I agree, your life sucks 33379 You deserved it 7906 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EwahWeeWah | 21 #6586069 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:19 I'd be more concerned for the people who got in the accident, lol. Send a private message 205 3 Reply
By andrmac | 25 #6586064 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:15 Awkward silence... Send a private message 136 4 Reply
By andrmac | 25 #6586064 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:15 Awkward silence... Send a private message 136 4 Reply
Reply coming back in the future | 30 #6586076 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:25 *awkwardly meets ex-girlfriend's eye in the mirror * Send a private message 20 0 Reply
Reply J352SAURUS | 30 #6586143 - Friday 22 April 2016 14:43 It didn't have to be awkward. All he had to do was log on to McDonald's wifi and listen to a podcast to pass the time. Send a private message 51 2 Reply
Reply warrior2 | 20 #6586160 - Friday 22 April 2016 15:31 I see what you did there. ^^ Send a private message 6 3 Reply
By EwahWeeWah | 21 #6586069 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:19 I'd be more concerned for the people who got in the accident, lol. Send a private message 205 3 Reply
Reply stingray112 | 24 #6586300 - Friday 22 April 2016 18:53 Sternutation is a fancy word for the act of sneezing. Send a private message 2 4 Reply
By coming back in the future | 30 #6586070 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:20 That would be so fucking awkward. FYL OP. Send a private message 2 3 Reply
By coming back in the future | 30 #6586072 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:23 Also, girlfriend*. If there's a moderator on, fix it please. Send a private message 12 15 Reply
Reply hoosierholla | 17 #6586178 - Friday 22 April 2016 16:11 That's what mine says, what was it before? Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By anarchymaniac | 22 #6586078 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:26 That must've been awkward Send a private message 2 2 Reply
By Steffi3 | 40 #6586080 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:27 I always wonder about people getting stuck with their ex somewhere. Who thinks going on a car ride together after breaking up is a good idea? 41 2 Reply
Reply petalbird | 10 #6586116 - Friday 22 April 2016 14:05 Maybe they broke up in the car while one was driving the other home? Send a private message 8 2 Reply
Reply ShannonBitt | 29 #6586125 - Friday 22 April 2016 14:20 I would've waited until I was home or vice versa Send a private message 35 0 Reply
Reply smallandroid | 26 #6586146 - Friday 22 April 2016 14:58 Once me and an ex had broken up while I was over at his apartment... I didn't have my car with me so he had to drive me home afterward. Send a private message 15 0 Reply
By slavka012 | 11 #6586083 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:29 Did you make up? Send a private message 1 6 Reply
Reply coming back in the future | 30 #6586085 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:32 Make up what? (yes I got what he meant) Send a private message 1 24 Reply
By Malsain_fml | 10 #6586091 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:46 Is breaking up in a car a good idea on the first place? Send a private message 30 1 Reply
By CaptainHonor | 15 #6586093 - Friday 22 April 2016 12:52 Should've waited to tell her when you guys were both home. Send a private message 14 2 Reply
By Chikiriwak | 15 #6586104 - Friday 22 April 2016 13:27 At least it's over now Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, I found out that my cross-dressing father and my recently deceased mother were having a much more "open" relationship then they'd let on, when the... I agree, your life sucks 30 You deserved it 6 0 Comments
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 644 You deserved it 138 4 Comments