NSFW, NSFL

By 12MONTHLEASE - 22/04/2016 00:30 - United States

Spicy
Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 786
You deserved it 1 764

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Maybe that was just their foreplay. They might be into rampaging murderers. You never know.

Gah! Well, what a great first impression. Maybe you should consider investing in a pair of earplugs.

Comments

andrmac 25

Just call the cops during the next fight. They might just take it elsewhere in the future or realise they can't fight and then **** like that.

What about this scenario screams CALL THE COPS to you?

kingdomgirl94 29

Where I live we have 24 hour noise laws. If people are being loud as ****, you can get the cops to shut them the **** up.

I'd think if anyone was screaming and threatening someone you'd call the police. I'd hate to be your neighbour if I was ever being attacked.

#25 . In the USA, in every state, threatening someone one with bodily harm is a crime. In addition yelling like that to the point it disturbs other people is call "disturbing the peace" also a crime. Those two facts are what screams "call the cops" to any rational person.

Fights and sex is pretty much a real time OITNB. You can save on Netflix!

Corn was born in the morn. That's called alliteration ladies and gentleman... And coffeebean

If this continues more than once you can issue a report against them and: A; have them warned. B; Get them removed.

Maybe that was just their foreplay. They might be into rampaging murderers. You never know.

CaptainHonor 15
CaptainHonor 15

I'm sorry, my phone completely derped out here and I'm not sure what happened.

My phone used to do that too... It used to type random letters and tap different places all over the screen!

CaptainHonor 15

Hey, look on the bright side -- you'll always have your own personal live action **** going on upstairs whenever you decide to **********!

I'm going to kill you!! **** you!! **** me!!! **** music starts playing

acerredrum 23

@19, Actually yes. I later found out that when me and my ex went to have sex his uncle would go to the bathroom next to our room to listen. -.-

Gah! Well, what a great first impression. Maybe you should consider investing in a pair of earplugs.

kingdomgirl94 29

Cause that shit is ******* nasty.

I would talk to them first and if they don't cooperate your landlord

I feel ya fellow bottom dweller. I had a couple live above me with a squeaky bed a preference for early morning sex.

kingdomgirl94 29

Begin with even earlier morning cooking and cleaning, vaccumes, clanging dishes and loud music to dance to. Nothing kills the mood like chores!

It may not be for everyone, but three hour sex is pretty great.

The ****** after sex that long is absolutely ******* mind- and body-numbingly gorgeous. You are basically lying there like a freshly tranquilized opossum writhing in heavenly bliss. The sleep after is the best rest in the universe.