By Anonymous - 09/12/2012 16:29 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 054
You deserved it 11 162

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You couldn't stop your child? I'd never let my daughter take any sort of candy from a stranger. I would have said no, given a reason and distracted my daughter with something else.


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You read, that an old lady has a laxative, a four year old ate it. let the bowel movements commence!

NzaHaFML 13

That's what I wondered when I read your profile, except a bit more colorful.

What i was gonna say when i actually read this is how the hell does a four year old push a grown women out of the way?

toenibbler 14

No offence but your friend using your phone is a poor excuse for a poor comment.

Did he push passed you and take it from an old lady?

13- thanks for the tip, I could use it sometime. No, most of the time.

tsent8 15

(In zoidberg voice) your comment was bad and you should feel bad!

FiestaInMyPants 8

9 - It's actually the opposite of a laxative. It firms the excrement. :P

tjv3 10

Op how much of a pansy are you that you got pushed aside by a small child? YDI . FMl for you little girl for having a weakling as a parent

Can you guys like shut up the comment wasn't even bad you judgmental fcks.

tsent8 15

193- to further her welcome she also spelled **** wrong.

Let this be a warning to all of y'all. *puts away sniper rifle*

R.I.P. Chubbybunny FML Life: ?-2012 She was a funny, witty, pretty young lady who saved many commenters from death. She will remembered as the one who took a shit for the team. EDIT: I mean shot* for the team.

OP, next time a stranger offers you or your daughter chocolate, you know what to doo-doo. *dodges sniper bullet*

*Shit works well too-- considering that's what we're talking about. (:

*Appears behind 51 and slits his throat* I knew you would dodge it. So I used it as a distraction.

*Pulls out lightsaber* Do not start what you don't intend to finish. Padawan..

tsent8 15

But both of you are wrong penguinbitch I AM YOUR FATHER!!!

So I'm the fool.. little do you know I learned from master Matka Kordai the original jedi.. You sure you want to do this.

*Uses jedi mind trick and send them away* We shall fight someday. Wether we are on same side or not depends on you. There is a mysterious force looming about..

On a battlefield* Damn how did I leave that out?

squeeky my pic is a pomeranian chipmunk

This thread...goodness gracious. Oh and I'm alive :)

114) Say what!? I don't remember giving birth! All this pot is giving me short term memory. Oh well. What shall we call him/her?

I left you alive to give you the option of joining me or die.

118 She's a her. I'll leave the name to you. :)

You are spared. *hands you a sniper* You know what to do in my absence..

Not sure about anyone else, but I had a mini movie playing in my head while reading those about a cute deadly puppy and a penguin. I think I may need to be medicated after that, mindblown..

Sargent: They're sending in bird commentors.. Shall I rally the snipers and jets? Me: Yes, take no prisoners. Send a ground force to directly attack.

Squeaky: My spies tell me that they have Sirinz on their and are contacting old elites. Me: No matter, we have alan and the original jedi council. Little do they know I have most of the old elites on my side. This war will leave noone and no area untouched.

One does not simply make an awesome thread.

Third in command puppy: Word is Penguin is going to kimino and they're retreating to middle earth. Me: Proceed inblowing up kimino with the death star. Do not let our forces in middle earth. The force tells me there is something there.

*goes to the forbidden area of space to the planet of the force* *learns the secret of the force and becomes a super jedi* Squeaky: Hmm the death star no longer replies. Send the forces. *spy arrives* spy: The enemy is 6 million strong. I'd suggest you send the 6th division 8 million strong.

An awesome war between me and penguin. I'm really curious as to why it's gone.

tsent8 15

Wtf where did all the comments on this one go?

(in voice of llamas with hats) But mooooooodddddssssss that annoys people.

201- It appears as if... They all got shot!

I almost want to make the first comment "first" just to see what hilarious story sirin would change it too. it would make me look like I made fun of myself a shit ton, but I make fun of myself all the time, so honestly, it would probably be more funny than insulting, but anyone who makes first comment say "first" does honestly deserve it.

vuragado 10

I'm still wondering how you zone out about those things 229

You couldn't stop your child? I'd never let my daughter take any sort of candy from a stranger. I would have said no, given a reason and distracted my daughter with something else.

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I agree, it shouldn't be that hard to stop a 4 year old child from taking a "candy" from a stranger. And the fact that your 4 year old managed to push you aside and take it without you stopping her just blows me away.

My daughter would always ask first she would never just take without permission & she would say please and Thankyou, not just shove me out of the way, take it & eat it, and my daughters 3.

28 you just restored my faith in humanity.

Why didn't OP ever tell her daughter not to take candy from strangers? D:

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I completely agree with all of you. I mean how fast did that child take and swollow the "chocolate" that there was no time for the mother to stop her?? I'm also quite surprised how this child seems to lack any form of displicine. When I was little I would never take anything without asking my mother first and I wouldn't act like a rabid dog that hasn't eaten in days, but thank the person kindly and eat the gift later Oo So op, for the sake of your child: - Train your reflexes. You will need them with young children around. - Discipline your child for god's sake - Explain to her why she shouldn't take stuff from strangers (although maybe she learned her lesson after this incident)

Comments like these are the reason I'm child-free. Yes, parents should have control over their kids and yes, they should teach them proper behavior, but it has got to get old after awhile constantly being blamed for the actions of a very immature person who happens to have free will and will, on more than one occasion, do really stupid shit that you might not be able to stop in time.

@ #141: That's one of the joys of being a parents. You are ALWAYS responsible for your child's actions, because your child is still growing and learning about the world around them. And it's up to you to make sure they don't run into traffic, or fall into a pool, or get kidnapped, or eat potentially-dangerous food from a complete stranger. Because they might not understand that their actions have consequences, but the parent should. Personally I don't understand how a small child COULD push a parent aside, take chocolate from a complete stranger, and scarf it down quicker than the parent can say no. OP should just be thankful it was only laxatives, and not something potentially more dangerous.

"No, you can't have any of that candy. You know why? That candy will make you ******* SHIT EVERYWHERE." *pimp slaps old lady and daughter*

jdmur 6

That's what your daughter gets for being so aggressive. I bet she's suffering more than you!

Let's hope her daughter was wearing some sort of diaper or pull up. Or that isn't good at all.

when she says uh oh aim it out window an the wind cleans it up..

jdmur 6

Hopefully! But A 4-year-old with a diaper or pull-up is unlikely :/

I think it depends on the parents. I know of some parents that don't start potty training till 4 years.

jdmur 6

I said unlikely for a reason ya know. But a preschooler in diapers? Yikes

I know a kid who went to preschool and elementary in diapers.

Why haven't you taught your 4-year-old to NOT take "candy" from strangers?

Maybe OP didn't think her daughter is old enough to understand?

Shit, I knew that by the time I was 4, so obviously she's capable.

Rosie_Posie43 12

I'm sure she'll never take candy from anyone from now on.

klovemachine 24

It's easy to teach, harder to learn or execute :D

ViviMage 38

Candy from strangers is bad enough. Ex lax from strangers??

How much do you weigh, twenty pounds? How does a four year old 'push you aside'? That's some awful parenting right there, well deserved!

I see it as more of ran past then pushed out way.

8 - My four-year-old cousin is very strong for his age. He's capable of knocking me down. Mind you, I'm only 100 pounds, so it's really not too hard, but still. It's not impossible for OP's daughter to push her over.

savage93 11

Someone gets on a plane that crashes and burns to ashes, and the guy that has a strong daughter has a bad life! Nice.

Way to post the same comment in two different replies, 98. You must be desperate to be heard.

Quick, feed her large amounts of cheese! Maybe she'll become constipated!

FiestaInMyPants 8

That's exactly what ex-lax already does. Give her fiber!

84, no. Exlax gives you the runs if you take it when you don't need it.

84- a lot of dairy can make you constipated.

Smells like you have yourself in a sticky situation.

*Raises eye brow* I'll let you live for now.. Only because this is half way original.. >.>

tsent8 15

40- no we cannot let them live the agency will kill us. If you won't I will.

missababgaga 19

You should probably teach your child to not take candy from strangers!

I think that situation already should tech her not to take candy from strangers ;)

Hopefully because this parent has been no good at it.