Kids: Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at...

By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 11 166

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Same thing different taste

By nutrigrain123 - 23/05/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 557

You deserved it 27 578

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 471

You deserved it 6 724

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 201

You deserved it 6 185

By Oily - 16/12/2011 09:08 - New Zealand

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 224

You deserved it 14 449

By gross - 06/08/2015 17:28 - United States

Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 823

You deserved it 3 169

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 292

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 972

You deserved it 89 325

Caught in 4K

By buggermonster - 16/06/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 734

You deserved it 76 863

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 66 559

By slapstick1982 - 31/12/2016 17:25 - United States - Ashford

Today, I caught my wife flicking a booger off her finger. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because if I can't see where it lands, it disappears and is not gross". It landed on my arm. I saw where it landed, it did not disappear, and yes it is gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 006

You deserved it 178

alucard724 9

Friday 18 August 2017 6:15

look on the bright side now you know what boogers taste like

Danielle Roberts 9

Friday 5 June 2020 20:51

You’re lucky that’s all that it was

Comments

alucard724 9

Friday 18 August 2017 6:15

look on the bright side now you know what boogers taste like

Danielle Roberts 9

Friday 5 June 2020 20:51

You’re lucky that’s all that it was

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The Top

Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 118

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 166

The Top

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 036

You deserved it 4 195

Today, my mom found out that I've been having counselling behind her back for the past 4 years. I broke down in tears explaining everything. Her response was, "So you go and bitch about me behind my back?!" And she wonders why I'm depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 744

You deserved it 5 630

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and it started getting heated. I climbed on top of him and took his shirt off, but I guess my brain had a different idea. I ended up clinging to him for dear life because my brain decided that now was a good time for a seizure. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 128

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 694

You deserved it 3 952

Today, I had to go to the hospital because I broke my leg in a sex accident. The doctor is my boyfriend's mom. I had to explain everything to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 749

You deserved it 622

Today, while playing basketball with my new coworkers, I managed to get the ball stuck between the hoop and backboard. In trying to free it, I also got a traffic cone stuck and ended up having to drag a large ladder across the court while everyone watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 913

You deserved it 1 609

Same thing different taste

Gummy

Caught in 4K

What am I doing?

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