Thanks, Stephen King

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 00:02 - United States - Buford

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 679
You deserved it 8 000

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Better to rid yourself of fickle friends now than when it can really hurt you!

Point out to them that it's the correct spelling. I'd like to see their reactions.

Comments

Better to rid yourself of fickle friends now than when it can really hurt you!

Make a status saying you just watched Inglourious Basterds

I completely agree that OP is better off without the three assholes. What's even sadder, however, is that each of the three was simply too stupid/lazy/judgmental to actually look up the book and figure out that Stephen King was just using his poetic license when titling it. Those illiterate fuckers.

I'd say that her life sucks because of her friends and they should be gotten rid of ASAP, but she totally deserved the one she got from her boyfriend for having this kind of retarded douchebag as a boyfriend.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Wow, just wow.

You're joking right?

Thank you, 13. Someone obviously remembers how to catch sarcasm.

I see what you did there friedchickenpie! I almost didn't catch that one either; I'm not proud to say it but it took me a few seconds.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
expertsmilee 26

You have to say that you're being sarcastic in your comments now, otherwise everyone will condemn you for being serious because they can't tell what sarcasm is without being told.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

The problem with being able to tell if someone is sarcastic or not through text, is that there is not tone in text. People read it how they think they'd hear it. I could tell that #2 was being sarcastic. But I could see how some people couldn't. I guess sometimes it just comes down to how gullible you are.

Really, how is this not obviously a joke, I know text has no tone, but c'mon, its clearly intentional

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
spekledworf 18

And that's why I assume every FML comment is coated with a heavy dose of sarcasm. Obviously no one is ever serious on here

Ranker69 1

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
bamagrl410 31

Oh good lord, 9, 10 and 36 need to join society and learn that it's the proper spelling of a Stephen King novel.

keshaforever1 14

It's sematary. If you had spent 30 seconds looking it up on Google, you would have known that she had spelled it correctly.

lienabakes 3

Wow. It's the name of the book! Learn to read a good book every once in a while! Look up Stephen King- you might be pleasantly surprised.

It's pronounced 'glue factory'.

But of course then people will get all defensive and say "Oh, sure, the 'I was being sarcastic' excuse! Like we haven't heard that one before!" Maybe it's better that we all just stop commenting, haha...

Apparently you are a dumbass as well it is cemetery.

ACTUALLY it's spelt Pet Sematary Asshole. Why don't you learn to fucking spell?

Well, I WAS joking. No need to continue the argument. I get that it can be hard to recognize sarcasm in text. Tip: Read the words "really", "definitely", and "so" with heavy sarcasm.

varsityme 4

It's actually correct. Before you hate on others, at least make sure you are correct, you tosspot.

I hope that is sarcasm. The word is cemetery but the book title was intentionally misspelled as Sematary.

LetMeSee 4

As in graveyard it is spelled cemetery, but the novel and movie really is spelled Pet Sematary. Look it up. Oh, and go find a dictionary if you are going to criticize someone's spelling.

musiciangirl591 16

the book is named pet sematary, i have it on my kindle

I am not sure which I find funnier, your comment or the comments using sarcasm to call you "genius" when they obviously can't tell sarcasm from their left nu...uh leg. Either way, thanks for the laugh!

girl112791 2

Actually, she has it right.

hotrodsforall 1

You are the one that needs to learn to spell, it is actually spelled sematary. Next time, use google or a dictionary before you think that you are going to contradict a person and correct their spelling.

It IS "Pet Sematary" the name of the book... And it's speleed cemetery, not semmitary, so you learn to spell. Besides, the name of the book can be spelled wrong on purpose, if the author wants to.

I am facepalming at everyone here for not understanding sarcasm.

If they are willing to break ties for things like that then I wouldn't exactly say you're losing much... (Not to say that it doesn't suck, though)

insertnameherr 11

Yeah her friends are just dumb and her boyfriend's an asshole.

Point out to them that it's the correct spelling. I'd like to see their reactions.

After that we can watch paint dry.

I've always preferred grass growing.

Personally, I prefer watching linoleum curl.

Success4444 12

I like watching water boil.

Watching silicone dry is pretty rewarding.

I like watching bread toast.

Or we could watch soccer. (sorry)

vikingchick 22

There should have been a link to Amazon (or other book website) for the idiots. :)

chelsearenaeee 16

At least you weeded out the stupid people in your life.

"Sometimes dead is better!"

"Weeeeeeeeeeed 'em out"

Wow, your friends and boyfriend need an attitude adjustment. And an introduction to good literature.

Hey, I liked the book, but I wouldn't call Stephen King "good literature". At any rate, I know it's been a while since the book and movie based on it were released, but how can you not know the names of the better-selling Stephen King books. If they haven't blocked you, send them the Amazon listing for the book and tell them all to fuck off and die.

Hey dumby. She did. That's how it is in the book and movie title.

chelsearenaeee 16

16, You don't listen well do you?

Hey 19, it would be correct to say you don't read well 16 do you? Rather then saying you don't listen. Because if you can here my smug-like voice lecturing you then that would be awkward.

tell em it was an ignorance trap! they've been Akbar'd

That's rude. They clearly know nothing of good horror novels. Pet Semetary is a good book.

I love Stephen King!!!

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

I always saw Pet Semetary as being one of the best novels to explore the depths and concepts of death, and human reactions to that concept. Good horror story too.

HeadlessSparrow 20

You lost two friends, and your boyfriend because they think you spelt a word wrong when it was clearly a book title. Wow. That sucks OP.

Even if she DID spell it wrong, how did she lose two friends and a boyfriend over it? They were either assholes to begin with, or there's more to this story...