Thanks, auntie

By itwasmyfavoriteshirt - 16/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Bentonville

Spicy
Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 012
You deserved it 3 669

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And I returned your aunt... With jizz stains.

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I don't think washing it once would be enough.

Nope something like this you would have to burn and then dispose of the ashes.

You sure your aunt isn't really your uncle?

Are you sure it was jizz It could of been hand sanitizer like in "Ted"

13-id just throw it Away :p

Was going to say your life sucks. But I guess your aunt does

I did that to my friend's shirt once. They don't take it too well... Sorry OP. Make her buy you a new shirt. Something expensive and designer ;)

She definitely sucks but she obviously doesn't swallow!

It could've been mayonnaise, or milk and honey hand soap

Thank god I'm not the only one here disturbed by her aunts performance...

Maybe your Aunt dribbled because she had her teeth out at the time, hence jizz stains...

you would find cum on your aunt delicious? not cool man

I think they were being sarcastic.

Either that flew right by you or you're trying to troll... My bets on the latter.

Thank you 38. At least you understand that not every stranger is a creepo. I would've thought that more people would have heard of sarcasm before. Guess some haven't caught up with the rest of the world

It's hard to read sarcasm though

gotta read and interpret

And I returned your aunt... With jizz stains.

Damnit, does anybody got a method of removing jizz stains from human skin?

Chlorine usually does the trick. Also bleach and acid.

I think she owes you a new shirt.

Time for a new favorite shirt. A moment of silence for the old favorite shirt, may it have a clean and untainted future life.

Yeah I'd be getting rid of that shirt. You'll always remember it with jizz stains no matter how much you wash it and dry clean it.

-Cleveland's voice- Ewww that's nassssty.

Why do people do this? Do you not have your own thoughts and your own voice?

Just doing Cleveland's voice what's wrong with that.

Try an original thought rather than copying someone else's.

Eww that's nasty. That's what I was thinking so I said it in Cleveland's voice because that adds to the funny-ness. What's FML for to be serious all the time?

Don't be a jerk 21

Who said anything about being serious? I just suggested making an original comment rather than something someone else said and has been repeated here hundreds of times. Kpopgirl - You think THAT was acting like a jerk? Stick around long enough and you'll see me REALLY act like an ass. Don't fucking tell me what to do. Oh, you didn't even have to wait that long.

Wow Doc, I used to think you were funny, now I just think your a dick.

I bet every one who read that, said it in his voice also.

Hey I know this is gonna be thumbed down, but Doc, I read some of your blog and I really enjoyed it.

biglittlehead - yeah, I'm sure DocBastard's gonna lose so much sleep because you think he's a dick. ROFL.

You may have suggested being original but the vibe I got from it was very jerk like . And don't be a hypocrite.

I like your default 36. :D Kriiiiis~

Holy shit full on online argument going on

Like your picture too minho~~ :)

giggity (had to say it lol)

I hate it when people use words to try and sound smart and completely use them out of fucking context. Kpopgirl24-Either you have no idea what the fuck a hypocrite is, or you skipped the second half of Doc's reply to you.

In this thread: a bunch of butthurt little pussies / meme-tards. Write your own material, folks.

#36 How dare you go against DocBastard's word! You must be tried for your heresy!

I did read the second half of his reply which is why i said what i said and I know exactly what a hypocrite is thank you very much so don't try to tell me I don't or I'm trying to sound smart . And yeah so what I told doc bastard don't. Be a jerk who cares their just a regular person like you and me .

Hyp•o•crite: Function: Noun A person who acts in contradiction to their beliefs. As defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Now that you REALLY know the definition, could you kindly show me where Doc contradicted himself, thus making him a hypocrite? No? Please pay attention in English class. It's for your own good.

Well since you asked kindly he told me to not to tell him what to do so just take what you want from that and worship doc bastard ok? Oh and I do pay attention in English class not that it matters but I'm in ap English and get basically straight a's but I'm not a jerk who flaunts that type of thing

You guys should loosen up that grip.

Kpopgirl - I've been here slightly longer than you, and I think you can see that a lot people tend to understand (though perhaps not appreciate) my blunt honesty. Telling me not to act like a jerk is like telling a tree to stop standing up so straight. It won't change a thing, but if it'll make you feel better, go right ahead.

Who's to say that you Have? And I didn't tell you not to act like a jerk I said don't be a jerk. There's a difference

Considering I've posted over 6000 comments and you've posted 7, I think it's safe to say I've been here longer and understand how this place works better. I've also been on the planet about 3 times longer than you have and I'm fairly set in my ways, so don't tell me how to be either. Notice I haven't told you to stop acting like an annoying little twit even though you're acting like an annoying little twit. Now stop arguing semantics with me, because I assure you that you will lose.

I never asked for thumbs up. I wasn't like look at me I did this in Cleveland's voice THUMBS ME UP GUYS. "I" thought it was funny so I posted it. Now, why is it wrong for me to post a simple comment saying something that I thought was funny? I never asked for people to defend me and I sure as hell didn't ask people to call me a dumbass.

I never said it was wrong. I did, however, ask of you had anything original to say. That's it. I wasn't saying you're a bad person or that you aren't funny or that Cleveland isn't funny. But that "Cleveland voice" comment is almost as overused now as "shitty situation", and fortunately that one is almost dead. I'm simply trying to foster some creativity here.

This thread is a cluster fuck.

Well that was all interesting to read. Doc has a point towards the comment. But I find this FML worked very well for the Cleveland comment because this one was ACTUALLY nasty. That's just my 2¢ worth though.

Kpopgirl24(102)- Worship Doc? You're funny. You've resulted to calling me a fanboy because you're upset. Why does happen so often? Three things: -Someone telling you 'don't tell me what to do' isn't telling you what to do, it's making a statement. So you're still wrong, he isn't being a hypocrite. -Doc has nothing to do with our argument except for that fact that you're calling HIM a hypocrite. If it had been anyone else, this would've still happened. -Really? You're taking AP English? I'm not sure what kind of school you go to where a freshman immidiately goes into an AP class. I've been in honors English classes until this year, my junior year, when you're THEN allowed to take AP. So you've either skipped two grades or you're blowing hot air out of your ass.

Well, I was going to finish reading this thread, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

I don't understand why people are still replying to me and a day has passed, I personally don't care anymore because I knew exactly what was going to happen when I said what I said and i have a right to express my opinion even if some people feel as though I'm acting like an annoying little twit and the fact that someone's posted more comments doesn't mean they've been here longer .

Wow u do sound like an ASSHOLE

I'd honestly be appalled. That's really rude of her.

Harry potter languaage ;p lol just kidding

Because only Harry Potter uses those words.

Whew. That's a relief. I was so worried about your shirt. Now I can sleep at night knowing you got it back.

That's jizzgusting. Like disgusting, but with more jizz.

Lmao! 'Jizzgusting' has now been nominated for the word of the week award...

But sadly, "Asshopper" will win.

LOL. Good One!

I nominate "ass hat"