Health and Gross: Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue.... - FML

By I'm disgusting - 26/05/2019 22:11

Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 3 232

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 972

You deserved it 89 325

Multiusage

By Anonymous - 06/11/2021 05:00 - Poland - Poznan

Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 186

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me, the reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 442

You deserved it 12 486

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 680

You deserved it 2 410

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

By HomicidalPegasus - 25/05/2014 15:50 - United States - Bethalto

Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 283

You deserved it 36 244

By Wronged - 21/09/2009 10:53 - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 522

You deserved it 3 574

Mix up

By luckygirl - 06/06/2019 12:09

Today, I have a bad cold, so I've been carrying tissues around with me. I noticed our puppy had pooped on the floor, so I grabbed a napkin and cleaned it up, then threw it away. I then blew my nose with my tissue. Apparently, I threw away my tissue and used the napkin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 612

By Genuine D - 13/05/2017 08:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 492

You deserved it 450

By IHateMySister - 02/01/2016 10:36 - Denmark - Kirke-hyllinge

Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 836

You deserved it 1 363

Next

Top comments

snowgr5 6

Monday 27 May 2019 1:08

Pro Tip: Most guys just use their socks for that.

Jackey 29

Monday 27 May 2019 3:42

Why did the sperm cross the road? You put on the wrong t-shirt.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 26 May 2019 23:01

That snot sexy.

snowgr5 6

Monday 27 May 2019 1:08

Pro Tip: Most guys just use their socks for that.

Jackey 29

Monday 27 May 2019 3:42

Why did the sperm cross the road? You put on the wrong t-shirt.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 27 May 2019 3:54

How gross are you that you still wear the same t-shirt after smearing whatever bodily fluid you expelled onto it after the fact? "No tissues, but I really have to sneeze. Guess I'll have to use my t-shirt. It may be 9:00am, but it won't hurt until I get home in about 12 hours. Hope no one notices when I go out for drinks after work."

Madison Gliosci 16

Monday 27 May 2019 5:47

Ya nasty

simcityguy09 19

Thursday 30 May 2019 22:51

Who cares if you wiped your snot on your shirt collar?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 42 709

The Top

Today, while tidying up my grandmother's fridge, I got to play expiration-date-bingo. The winner was some type of concentrated apple sauce supposed to be used for salad dressings. It expired in 1986. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 87

Today, I confronted my boyfriend because I suspected he had been cheating. His reply? "Took you long enough to figure it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 097

You deserved it 4 718

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 858

You deserved it 2 027

Today, I found out the hard way that if you think a waiter is hot, you probably shouldn't tell your parents. They could react by screaming at him across the room to tell him you think he's a hottie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 891

You deserved it 16 348

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 044

You deserved it 5 523

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 689

You deserved it 9 175