That snot sexy.

Pro Tip: Most guys just use their socks for that.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

You put on the wrong t-shirt.

How gross are you that you still wear the same t-shirt after smearing whatever bodily fluid you expelled onto it after the fact? "No tissues, but I really have to sneeze. Guess I'll have to use my t-shirt. It may be 9:00am, but it won't hurt until I get home in about 12 hours. Hope no one notices when I go out for drinks after work."

Ya nasty

Who cares if you wiped your snot on your shirt collar?