Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML
Today, my ex and I had sex. Afterwards, I cleaned myself with a t-shirt and left a huge sperm stain on the front of it. After that, my stepfather came home, so we left. As we were sitting in the car in front of the house, my stepfather left on a bicycle, wearing the t-shirt. Sunlight reflected off the stain. FML
Today, I threw all my clothes into the washer, including my favorite red hoodie. Apparently, I forgot a Kleenex in one of the pockets. I now own a wardrobe of pink, soggy tissue confetti-covered gunk. FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML
Today, I did my laundry at a laundromat. When I came back to get my clothes, I found an elderly man wearing my favorite Joy Division t-shirt, and he refused to give it back because he said it was his. I spent a few minutes arguing with him, before realizing I had grabbed someone else's clothes too. FML
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Top comments
superhumangambit 4
And I returned your aunt... With **** stains.
jewwybeanzzz 10
Nasty!! D:
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Comments (158)
trucker67 10
And you know it's **** stains how ?
katiekatlovesu 5
She did a good job, didn't she?
BatemanFML 0
She did the taste test.... Too far?
Groaty12 0
Sounds delisious
BobbyBoss 10
Lol, your username is perfect for this FML.
rj33445 4
Gran needs loving to yo
MetallicaFTW 16
Hey OP, FYL but not your aunt's! Haha lol :) She's getting out there maybe you should too. But **** stains, that's just nasty and disrespectful. She could have at least washed it before returning it.
Papiamilli 1
Every piece of property is someone's "favorite" when something happens to it lol.
greeneye_fml 12
Make her replace the shirt.
unicornsbears 5
That sux..... I'm sry OP. just don let ya aunt borrow anythin again. Did shr at least apologize for it?