I would've used some pepper spray on him back. While he was sleeping..... In his bed....... At night..... When he wasn't awake....

GET HIM BACK BY SHOOTING HIM WITH A WATER PISTOL!!!!

Fuck yeah! A water pistol is gonna make him scream and sting his fucking face! What a good idea!

18- I'm pretty sure most people aren't awake when they're sleeping...

Did I forget to mention to put acid in the water pistol...?

OP's roommate needs to get an ear check-up. Nothing is worse than a deaf idiot with a can of excruciating chili flakes that fuck up your eyes.

It's ok if he got any on his hands it will suck for his gf later on. Ask me how I know........

how old is his roommate like 5

@38: I think there are just paranoia issues there, not so much hearing. I know people who freak out when someone calls them twice. Why? I have no freaking clue. Some people are just idiots.

#58, Welcome to America.

Yea #57 his roommate is 5, because 5 year old kids just happen to carry around spray-able pain in a can.

#46 How? I'm genuinely curious.

64- Wild guess here that 46 was messing around with some pepper spray, forgot to wash it off and later got physically intimate with his girlfriend. Insert fingers, cue screaming. :p Curiosity satisfied? ;)

... didn't need it written out, but thanks for the mental image!

She took every bottle of pepper spray out of the house and bought me a 9mm. I mean I was happy and all but she held a grudge till the end of the month.

OP, it's called a cell phone, use it.

87 it says he CALLED for hours. Smh..

How do you know?

Hopefully he didn't end up spraying!

That roommate is stupid because they wouldn't open the door for op after obvious tribulation, but they're already there with spray. That's stupid.

It's not stupid. It's vindictive and spiteful. OP says he spent hours ringing the doorbell and calling his roommate. If the roommate couldn't hear all that racket 'for hours' yet could hear him rustling to try to open a window, then break the glass out of frustration armed and ready with pepper spray, it's definitely sounds to be premeditated.

That's what I meant. Thought I was clear. I feel sorry for op because he endured his roommates stupidity. Op is not stupid.

Be it a shotgun they'd be ready for the freakin' zombie apocalypse.

If pepper spray is all you have, then you are not prepared.

that's annoyingly possible

Agreed, wouldn't a sane person, I don't know, check who's at the door? Hope no leper spray was actually dispensed'

*pepper. Oops, and it should have ended with a "!". Sorry guys, very sleepy. Zzz...

Tired of those pesky lepers all over the streets these days? Try all new Leprosy Repellent! Now in several pleasant fragrances.

A spray that causes leprosy? That seems like a pretty effective self defense tool. UNCLEAN!!!

19- nice tat btw.

They got the roommate from www.ineedmyasskicked.com

The Pound

My old friends brother.

Your fucking stupid

His fucking stupid what?

Craigslist