Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML
Today, my ex and I had sex. Afterwards, I cleaned myself with a t-shirt and left a huge sperm stain on the front of it. After that, my stepfather came home, so we left. As we were sitting in the car in front of the house, my stepfather left on a bicycle, wearing the t-shirt. Sunlight reflected off the stain. FML
Today, I threw all my clothes into the washer, including my favorite red hoodie. Apparently, I forgot a Kleenex in one of the pockets. I now own a wardrobe of pink, soggy tissue confetti-covered gunk. FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML
Today, I did my laundry at a laundromat. When I came back to get my clothes, I found an elderly man wearing my favorite Joy Division t-shirt, and he refused to give it back because he said it was his. I spent a few minutes arguing with him, before realizing I had grabbed someone else's clothes too. FML
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Top comments
superhumangambit 4
And I returned your aunt... With **** stains.
jewwybeanzzz 10
Nasty!! D:
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Comments (158)
ebonyirony 29
It was her shirt. She was number one.
linkinpark98 24
Love the spongebob reference!
amandajlucas2015 2
Tell her to buy u a new one that's Wut I would do.. Stand ur ground:)
linkinpark98 24
Might as well burn it. Washing it will do nothing.
linkinpark98 24
Livin' like Larry!
perdix 31
I've had some shirts I really liked, but I've never been so sexually attracted to one that I actually jizzed on it. F your aunt's life for having to wear your spooge-encrusted shirt!
laxforevrr 0
Lucky you-.-
MindFreakazoid 10
Is that all you could think of to say?
Dixbfloppin 11
W-why would you want your aunt's **** on your favorite shirt?
laurenlovesjb 20
Just ask her to get you a new one. She's owes you. She stains it (especially with ****), she replaces it!
m1grande 3
Jb is horrible.
Larawk 8
At least you know you won't have any new cousins lol
jenniiienyc 5
That is beyond gross. I suggest you don't let her borrow ANYTHING of yours anymore.
SneakyCaveman 13
Don't worry OP, it was just some mayonnaise from the 5 dollar foot long she was having the night before.
octopussperm125 18
Or is it??