Intimacy: Thanks, auntie

Thanks, auntie

By itwasmyfavoriteshirt - 16/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Bentonville

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 138

You deserved it 3 693

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By ewwy - 10/10/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 990

You deserved it 7 657

By bubblebuttfuckfart - 13/10/2012 17:32 - Ireland

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 547

You deserved it 1 768

By I'm disgusting - 26/05/2019 22:11

Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 3 207

By IHateMySister - 02/01/2016 10:36 - Denmark - Kirke-hyllinge

Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 825

You deserved it 1 359

Spunky

By grimatwork - 01/11/2010 17:24 - United Kingdom

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 438

You deserved it 5 436

By Ima_Moronski - 26/07/2011 03:35 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 418

You deserved it 7 107

W.T.F.

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 06:00

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 102

You deserved it 610

Prissy

By barfyshirt - 06/12/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 958

You deserved it 7 200

Serial skid marks

By OverMyInLaws - 20/08/2022 06:00

Today, my sister-in-law recently spend the night to hangout with my 7 year-old. She kept some of her clothes in his dresser. While doing laundry and sorting out clothes that no longer fit him, I found a pair of her shit-stained underwear shoved in the back of one of the drawers. She's in her 40's and this isn't the first occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 22:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 739

You deserved it 3 883

superhumangambit 4

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:46

And I returned your aunt... With **** stains.

jewwybeanzzz 10

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:43

Nasty!! D:

Comments

Clayball 14

Friday 17 August 2012 6:12

Way to ruin a good shirt... :l

Clayball 14

Friday 17 August 2012 6:14

That part was really funny, I thought it was glue o.O

MrElephant 5

Friday 17 August 2012 6:21

I think you'll cum to forgive her.

headmaster556 4

Friday 17 August 2012 6:34

Thats ok sperm washes off... I would know

jjurox101 5

Friday 17 August 2012 6:47

I feel so bad for you that I'm actually considering buying a new one for you.

lexiieeex3 32

Friday 17 August 2012 7:04

Yours or hers?

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Friday 17 August 2012 7:09

Well at least you know she's getting some. But on the real show her the shirt and tell her to buy you a new one.

jlperry31 10

Friday 17 August 2012 8:34

Hers or someone else's

IcedJesus 5

Friday 17 August 2012 9:36

Why not both? ;)

trucker67 10

Friday 17 August 2012 16:00

And you know it's **** stains how ?

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The Top

Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 457

You deserved it 4 793

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 224 124

You deserved it 35 800

The Top

Today, I was unaware that me losing my virginity was also breakup sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 099

You deserved it 3 229

Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 080

You deserved it 9 988

Today, I spent my entire paycheck on a new summer wardrobe. I then left my shopping bags on the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 344

You deserved it 38 255

Today, I finally managed to get my electrician boyfriend to agree to replace our old lights, after a year of asking. Saturday, he couldn't be bothered and Sunday he came down with a mysterious man flu. This is about the 10th time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 342

Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 1 506

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 483

You deserved it 9 669