Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
wrgfml 0
Sorry he was such a jerk. He was probably real nervous and blurted. At least that'sy hope. Congrats on the bazongas.
bummervacation 10
I think you were better off without that asshole.
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Comments (132)
123e3 0
wow
Zmeilerr 22
Wow?! That's all you can think of is a simple, almost meaningless, 3 letter word? And just to get the first post? You sir, are pathetic. No one is going to praise you or give you attention just for getting post number 1. Just an FYI.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
^ You just did, idiot.
Zmeilerr 22
My first post was constructive and not an attention-grabbing 3 letter word.
Sirin_fml 47
Heh.
Zmeilerr 22
And what are you snickering at?
CoolAsian 0
haha wow just accept the fact he got first, Nerd.
Anaxes 5
u mad br0?
unidentified_sta 5
You uncreative bro?
someone234 5
#15 chill the f*** out dude
Snowjob 0
#15 Whoa bro, a little too much anal don't you think?
The_Creeper_fml 8
my ky is brokn chill out 15, popl will do that for as long as thy can. Not to mntion gtting a long mssag in for #1 can b challnging.
ChrisCool 0
Lmao Is u Mad ?
48Connor 10
my first response to this was wow. my first response to 15 was dumb bitch
phatdaddy62 23
Hey Zmeiller, you may not wanna **** with Sirin. She can shut you down on here!
Dragons_corner 6
I think I understand what 52 and 58 typed. I'm still decoding to make shure I got it.
Dragons_corner 6
I ment "sure" not shure. stupid anti food.
chaosdragn16 2
anti food?
Dragons_corner 6
I'm getting tired of my iPod or fml updates for iPods. I ment "flood".
1personinthiswor 0
ment?
fabrizio_fml 0
lmao.
skiier4life 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
learn to take a compliment. wow.
valri3 0
Damn. You can basically make a reference to all those other FMLs. They are all pretty similar.
valri3 0
EmoLittleBish 0
soo.... this fml is categorized under intimacy.........
gaganinia 14
eww not a compliment like that coming out of your dads mouth
paintmysky 0
That's like your mom telling you that you have nice wood. It's messed up. Especially when you haven't seen them in a very long time, and that's all they have to say.
Svelgin 7
What's wrong with that? It's called taking a compliment. It shouldn't matter who from.
Kazze 31
130, if your mom complimented you on the size of your package, would you still take it as a compliment, or would it freak you out?
ApricotQueen 17
telling any girl that her **** are big isn't a compliment, it's harassment.
Raymond Wolf 9
found the feminazi
SilverChrono 0
LOL! That's a memorable moment for you both.
banana_buddy 6
Can anyone say WINCEST?
HaileyHAVOC 0
haha 71
xFalzz 0
Not funny. :|
metal8214 0
it's funny as hell #85... win!
shayshaw 0
ydi for having big **** lol jk that really sucks thou :-/
iHaveADream_ 0
lol , She does deserve it . sometimes having big **** is horrible . I know I rather have teeny tiny ones , :P
Kazze 31
81... That doesn't explain why she deserves it?
wrgfml 0
Sorry he was such a jerk. He was probably real nervous and blurted. At least that'sy hope. Congrats on the bazongas.
daaron 3
yup yup btw send me a pic of your bozangas ok haha
bummervacation 10
I think you were better off without that asshole.
Sisaac 0
Well, better not having a father than having a perv one. Consider yourself lucky, you haven't been missing anything 'til now.
Azure_Ebony 0
At least he was out of your life until now. Sorry your meeting went like that, that's pretty messed up.
hcovballer247 0
well hello to ya too daddy(:
Rawrzie 0
oh, family. gotta love em.