I want to know the same thing

I wonder what I am if I exclusively date big boobed redheads...

Lucky.

If there's anything that alienates people from the trans community, it's comments like this. Instead of being a dick and saying they deserve it for saying that, why not teach them better phrasing?

That was not transphobic. The OP was merely explaining that this person was trans, how else is she supposed to explain that? She literally just gave the definition of what FTM tran is, it's a "she" who is actually a he and making the transition or who has already transitioned. If anything it's a good thing she went into detail like that, because although access to information might be easier now, some people might not understand what trans is. Whether you like it or not, this person was assigned the gender "she" when he was born, I'm not saying he is a "she," I believe everyone is the gender they feel, but they did live as a "she," for at least a little while I imagine, which is a crucial part to what makes this an FML. In short, the OP was not transphobic for using that sentence, don't be stupid.

Well, I'm with #26 - the OP is only stating a fact. It's almost beyond doubt that at birth the midwife will have said "you have a baby girl!" or a variant thereof. He may be male now and may indeed have felt so since he could recognise the difference (which is not at birth obviously) but at birth he would have been assigned the gender of his physical manifestation at that time. Nothing else is currenly possible.

A lot of misinformation flying around here, so I'll clear a couple things up. Firstly, I agree that OP has no obligation to date anyone. Secondly, the trans guy has always been a "he." He (the word denoting his gender) was born female (the word denoting his biological sex). He was born female and has always been a man. It's simple if you google the difference between biological sex and gender, but people get confused because our society has blended the two words together.

Chromosomes still stay the same either way

43 is mostly correct. We don't know the person and gender can be fluid, so they might not have always felt like a man, but it is most common for trans people to have felt that way from a very young age. It's also not really correct to say "biological sex" because it is becoming more understood that biology plays a big role in determining if a person will be trans. OP doesn't deserve it just because she phrased something a bit ignorantly, but it was not the best way to put it. All she had to say was the person happened to be trans and she wasn't into him. Especially putting the word "he" in quotations can be really hurtful because it undermines their identity and disrespects their wishes to go by the pronouns they prefer. Even if you don't mean to be hurtful it is. So now we know. Don't do that.

There are some great comments below from actual trans people, too, that everyone should read about OPs wording.

Bull. If you have a penis, XY chromsomes, and produce viable sperm, calling you a biological male is a basic fact. How you feel or identify is mental and none of my business. I'll refer to you with whatever pronouns you want just like using the name you prefer. But I refuse to say she has a penis or was born a girl with a penis. That's silly.

The thing is biology is a lot more complicated than that, but I would rather not get into an argument about it on FML. I'd recommend doing some research on the causes of transexuality.

I really don't think that there is something like dating discrimination. You can not date a whole group of people in principle for whatever reasons and still don't have anything against them and not discriminate them in every other aspect of life. I'd just say that people who tend to have strong prejudice have a higher probability to also have them in general.

Even if she changed her mind, I don't think that would necessarily make her transphobic. For all we know, having biological kids is something she'd really like to try, so knowing from the start that it's 100% impossible is a good reason not to start a relationship imo. And in any case, I think you should be dating someone you are comfortable with, not forcing yourself to date/sleep with people you don't want to just to be "inclusive."

One thing I always wonder when people assume it's transphobic to decide against dating someone based on them being trans, is perhaps the reason is something different, such as a desire to have children with a life partner? Sure there's always adoption, but I think it's perfectly reasonable for someone to want a biological child if they can. EDIT: Reply above me got it one. I've known heterosexual cisgendered couples break up over the issue of children, so yeah, it can be a deal-breaker for some.

Yeah, please guilt-trip people into dating or having sex with people they don't want to for whatever reasons.

#12, you are an idiot.

No, she is definitely not a transphobic bitch even if that was the reason! Seriously!! Everybody should do what they feel comfortable with and if a person does not feel comfortable with dating someone who had gender reasignment surgery then that's ok too! It doesn't make her transphobic!!! Transphobic people hate transgender people and might find their decision to change their sex wrong or disgusting. (And this opinion is wrong in and of itself but that's a discussion for another time) But just because she doesn't feel comfortable with dating him DOES NOT MAKE HER a transphobic bitch. You know what?? I would'nt want to date an obese guy for example. Not because he is obese. As I said everyone should do what they themselves feel comfortable with but I for one like to do sports and travel and be out and about and I would like my significant other to do these things with me! Does that make me a fat-shaming bitch? AGAIN: Everybody should do what they feel comfortable with, without being judged!! I hope there are some people out there that think like me!

Just because she doesn't want to date a transman doesn't mean she's transphobic. Maybe she's not attracted to him for other reasons as well. And you can be pro-trans rights and still not want to date them. I do wonder why OP didn't go to Cuba with her family. Maybe she couldn't get the time off work?

You used the term bigot wrong. If you are so concerned with all the 62 "genders" then I would think you could use the word correctly smh

I wish I could keep down voting after someone has been buried.

Do us all a favor and go back to tumblr

#12, being transgender could be a reason someone doesn't want to date them. Not everyone is comfortable dating a trans and OP was merely explaining the neighbor was a girl who transitioned to a boy. I wouldn't want to date someone who has a ****** because I'm straight. Some trans have a hard time being able to 100% transition and I like dick. So unless he has a penis then no I won't date them. It would also suck if my boyfriend came to me and said he felt like a girl and wanted to transition. I'd be heartbroken but I couldn't date him any longer. Doesn't make me transphobic, it's just my sexuality preference. Its like when people say breaking up with someone because they have a mental illness is invalid. Not everyone can handle mental illnesses.

He/she it whatever the hell they were they still are. You can change your clothes, your hair, take estrogen/testosterone, and even cut your weenie off but you know what your chromosomes are still xx or xy.