Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
wrgfml 0
Sorry he was such a jerk. He was probably real nervous and blurted. At least that'sy hope. Congrats on the bazongas.
bummervacation 10
I think you were better off without that asshole.
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Comments (132)
traze 7
So...do they love it or not?
someone234 5
I sure do! ;)
babez11 0
at least ur dad thinks u hav nice ****
Phelx 0
so do you #42 XP. But OP it Is kinda weird for him to say that.
perdix 31
Why did you bring your drums to meet your dad for the first time? Or are you some kind of bazonga virtuoso like Buddy Rich or Neil Peart?
xMafia 0
I wonder how she even fit those drums in her shirt.
perdix 31
How can she keep drums in her shirt? That's where ladies keep their gazongas.
xMafia 0
And think, he was probably debating what to say to you the whole day, and THATS what he came up with.
damon199 0
creepy!
SuperVanessa 0
he was just trying to make a mammory...I mean memory :-p
doublewide420 0
yes we do OP,yes we do
benJ13_fml 5
bazongas?? What is it?? But what I can see the other comments, it's not a good conversation between a dad and his daughter, they seen each other long time ago.. be strong, you live without him all your life.. So keep living this, that's the best you can do :)
LoveMySoldier82 0
He was talking about her ****.
beanie69 0
I can relate.