Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
wrgfml 0
Sorry he was such a jerk. He was probably real nervous and blurted. At least that'sy hope. Congrats on the bazongas.
bummervacation 10
I think you were better off without that asshole.
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Comments (132)
ThatLooksSticky 16
I wish this was one of those FMLs that ended with the OPs age. I'd love to see "I'm 12." at the end of this post. Ha!
x_missystaceey 0
pedophile .
EvilDave 13
If the OP is under 12, then yes, but it is doubtful that a child under 12 will have big ****. If the OP is between 12 and 14, her father might be a hebephile, but again it is doubtful that a child under 12 will have big ****. If the op is between 15 and 18, her father might be a ephebophile. Seeing as he made an inappropriate comment on her anatomy and did not mention having sex with her, he is rude, but not necessarily any of the above.
purityshannon 0
cool dad dude. NOT
Waffle817 0
sounds like you have a great pair of bozongas and would not mind seeing these
forgotten_addict 1
wow what a bitch take a compliment, haha just kidding that sucks I advise you to stay far away from your creepy dad, just saying
allapologiesmygi_fml_fml 4
a new song. sing it to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer". Daddy is a perv from the country. he left us when I wad young. You he is only a bit weird. But Mommy and me know he's a creep.
Diablo232 0
at least he's talking to u it could be worse than him noticing ur tats.
taniaaaaa 0
If it was anyone other than your father that said that to you, I would have said to just take it as a compliment and be glad that you have big boobs, but BECAUSE it's your dad that said it. AWKWAAAAAAARRD. o.0 Your dads a creeper hunn.
zanguard 0
Your dad is a winner due to his use of the word "bazongas".
2riteluvonherarm 0
did your mom ever mention that he was a pedophile?
EvilDave 13
Pedophile? That word you use, I do not think it means what you think it means.