Today, my 11 year-old daughter claimed I'm a terrible cat parent. Why? Because in the 4 months that we've had the cat, I haven't given him a bath. Our strictly indoor kitten lives in attack mode, and would paint the walls with my blood if I attempted it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to give my cat a bath after he got into the attic and got covered in all sorts of shit. Halfway through, he freaked out, jumped out of the tub, and ran around the house dripping wet. He then hid under my bed, and I had to practically dismantle it to get him out. Now my bedroom smells like wet fur and broken trust. FML
Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML
Today, during an argument with my daughter, she screamed, "Everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration, where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML
Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, our baby cries constantly, except for when our grumpy old feral tom cat comes over to lay beside her, lick her head and so on. This bastard cat is the most ornery sumbitch I've ever met and bites worse than a bear trap, yet he's a better dad than I am. Plus, he looks so damn smug while he's doing it. FML
Today, I noticed my daughter’s bathroom was dusty, so I screamed at her for keeping the bathroom in unacceptable condition. She had a panic attack and has been crying for the past week. She’s 24. FML
Today, my extremely affectionate and docile cat, whom I love like a child and has never drawn blood, scratched my roommate of one day in the face while I was at work. She claims he just went ballistic, and I don't believe she's telling me everything. What the hell did she do to my cat? It's gonna be a long lease. FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 24
Tell your 100% I'll informed child that short haired cats only need a bath for immediate flea treatment or if they've got something unpleasant or toxic on their fur that they shouldn't ingest. Long haired cats who can't lick through their fur to reach their skin need a bath maybe every 3 to 6 months unless you keep them clipped short. Perhaps you should teach your daughter the difference between formal, accredited websites and Instagram/Tiktoc...
Anderling 33
This seems like a great learning opportunity for her that different species of animals have different husbandry needs, and that for cats that includes “no baths where possible unless they got into something or they have fleas”.
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Comments (4)
Razath 17
Eh, generally (barring special cirsumstances) you don't need to give your indoor cat any baths. They can usually manage their own cleanliness perfectly fine, so you don't really have to worry unless your home is very dirty (in combination with a long-haired cat), or if your cat has fleas or such things. Tell your daughter to chill.
FluffythePink 24
Tell your 100% I'll informed child that short haired cats only need a bath for immediate flea treatment or if they've got something unpleasant or toxic on their fur that they shouldn't ingest. Long haired cats who can't lick through their fur to reach their skin need a bath maybe every 3 to 6 months unless you keep them clipped short. Perhaps you should teach your daughter the difference between formal, accredited websites and Instagram/Tiktoc...
Anderling 33
This seems like a great learning opportunity for her that different species of animals have different husbandry needs, and that for cats that includes “no baths where possible unless they got into something or they have fleas”.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
I think 11 is a good age to learn about bathing cats on her own.
tiptoppc 21
Sucks when the parent has to pickup the kids lips and sew them back on. An old joke I saw, on how to wash a cat: Step 1: Wash Step 2: Rinse Step 3: Maim Step 4: Repeat
Yudith 28
Wasn't it more like Step 1: put the cat in water; Step 2: hold the cat while you remove the feces from its fur; Step 3: dry the cat with a towel; Step 4: bandage your wounds?