Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
wrgfml 0
Sorry he was such a jerk. He was probably real nervous and blurted. At least that'sy hope. Congrats on the bazongas.
bummervacation 10
I think you were better off without that asshole.
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Comments (132)
jinxthejinx 0
There were probably many reasons your mother left him, and she probably told you as such. Y kinda DI for thinking that 'family' matters in the least and wanting to meet your father.
xxShinobi 0
Wait...did you just tell OP that they deserved it for wanting to meet their father? -.- Yikes, people, some of you should learn a little empathy. That, and you can't assume OP knew a whole lot about her father in the first place.
Akai_fml 4
No, really the OP did deserve it. This FML and the countless like it are trying to make some kind of fairytale reunion out of meeting an estranged parent or relative without pausing to think that the parent most likely didn't *want* to be associated with the OP. Realistically, the father here could have reached out to the OP if he actually desired a relationship with her. So, when the OP tracks him down, it's a probably huge imposition. He was probably just acting pervy so that you'd leave him alone, rather than straight up telling you to GTFO to your face.
Rdrgz 0
ew. creepy
sillyhead13 0
I like bazongas
i_lurve_you 2
i dnt buy this story for shit.....
bubbarific 0
WINCEST!!!!!!
foxgirl715 0
hahaha o yea!
cupcakemonster10_fml 0
agreed
texasjalapeno_fml 0
but they never had father-daughter relationship
texasjalapeno_fml 0
but it still is very pedo and wrong
yummycupcakegirl 0
I have big boobs FML.... Well, srry on ur dad but, having big boobs is a blessing.
jobart_fml 5
mords moi...!
5t3ff1k4h 47
A blessing? Tell that to all the women who constantly have back pains and spasms because of their big boobs. Yours probably aren't big enough to cause those if you aren't complaining about it.