Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
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Top comments
WHOWASTHEPHONE 10
How does sitting on the edge making it more quiet?
KatrinaKitten 16
How about closing the door....
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Comments (253)
WHOWASTHEPHONE 10
How does sitting on the edge making it more quiet?
franceypants 0
chuck?
franceypants 0
wopps that was for rbubbles
IdontWanna69 8
As a guy if I want to pee quietly I just pee against the inside part of the toilet where the water doesn't reach, which is probably what this chick was trying to do, which is harder to do without a penis.
Blake4477 0
Wait does your boyfriend sleep in the bathroom??(:
SteelCladAngel 0
I dunno 'bout you but I hear tell o these new house designs where the bathroom has a door connectin' to the bedroom I can hear my husband when he's using the toilet, and he can hear me....
Hosea11 0
brits...
petshark 4
it does in Europe, where the toilets are better, and less filled with water
bitterfaceplant 0
Either he has the ears of a bat or she did allot of drugs.
bmanholmes 3
it dosnt hit the water dumbass
itsgen 16
hah yeah apparently OP is a complete moron
boatsNhoes147 0
...and you're a complete bitch.
silentsniper441 0
it happens when you don't have a prescicion aiming device
serenaluvspie 0
Weirdo
louisstephen 8
Use your brain son. Your brain
MrCatman1125 2
When you hit the toilet water, it splashes, making a noise. When you sit ( Female) on the edge the urine hits the part without water making it silent. For males, aim for the waterless part.
mssommer 4
It hits the inside of the bowl and silently trickles down.. but i really don't get how you don't realise that you're peeing on the floor!! Wouldn't it hit your feet or make some noise?
b0ss42nine 0
Hahahaha, jesus that's gotta suck.
crunchycereal 0
loose ******
alaskasfml 0
^british toilet paper.
wikkedphuka 0
ur a fukface
ThatLooksSticky 16
the british use loose vaginas as toilet paper?
benjimm1 0
^win
whiteboy7thst 2
The British are strange people
Riya2595 15
not all of us are strange!!
CrazyJolteon 0
Yes you are
teague95 16
british or not wee and loo paper make you sound like your 4 years old
Jennifra 0
^ True
sweet_candy_ 17
My cousins live in the UK and that's how they say their stuff. It may sound like something a 4 year here in America says but it's completely normal to use loo and wee in the UK.
benjimm1 0
lesbian
itsmeyippie 0
what kind of American child uses the word loo paper? Maybe you could hear a child say wee but not that...
shoopd 19
UK dumbass. If you were unaware, the UK is not referred to as America.
shoopd 19
Annnnnd I should probably learn how to read. Herp derp. Let the down vote begin!
simply_improper 1
an this lil piggy went wee wee weee all the way home
dudeitsdanny 10
When I read this, I was actually thinking of the little girl from Family Guy that Stewie trains like Eliza Doolittle, haha. But with an even thicker cockney accent that may only exist in my imagination.
geeksaresexy 18
And Americans say 'restroom'! Sorry there's nowhere to actually rest in 90% of toilets so that makes zero sense..
thatbritkid 0
over here, Americans seem weird.. so..
dudeitsdanny 10
^I agree with the restroom bit. But some people find "toilet" to be rude. I'd ask for "el baño", but that's just asking for redneck trouble. I've just decided that the next time I need to say "restroom" I'm gonna say "loo." My voice class is the perfect place for this, too! Now I'm excited for Tuesday..
medotcom 0
138 people say "restroom" because it's better than telling everyone "I gotta take a shit"
WoAhAnNa123 0
haha thats so true^ :D
geeksaresexy 18
What's wrong with saying 'I need to visit the ladies/mens room'? That makes far more sense than restroom. You say restroom is more polite than toilet? Well wee is more polite than piss. Also loo is a colloquial term for toilet in England, there's is nothing childish about it. I don't get why people are making a big deal. She's a dumb idiot for peeing on the floor not for the words she has chosen to use!
anlhawks 5
hahaha I laughed
Soloman212 28
Hey hey hey! For some people peeing on the floor is completely normal! Gee...
GGimabeast 5
You can rest on the toilet as you do your business.
toastyjustice 5
138- it's been replaced with bathroom
crissit98 0
he/she is from london UK!!!!!
iluffhimm 0
rest stop for truck drivers us they got rest room
CptGap 0
die JB
CookieMonstr19 0
THATS WAT I SAID!!!!
prepayedtank 0
Yes.. You are
prepayedtank 0
Yes.. You are
prepayedtank 0
Yes. We geeks are sexy. And shut up about this restroom bullshit, it makes no sense but no one cares
prepayedtank 0
Yes. We geeks are sexy. And shut up about this restroom bullshit, it makes no sense but no one cares
thagar 2
Don't stereotype I live in Texas and my dad went to Harvard and my friend has a scholarship to duke. My friend is 14, and I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that we're not all hicks cowboys or dumb asses
deadlydeadd 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
peeing in the bowl part makes it more quiet reply to this comment if your a man and you pee on the side of the bowl to make less noise:)
Pretty_In_Purple 0
I do!
BradenLock 4
yes!
Mjwnenrjs 17
yes!!
Fekenator 0
mhm
rainport 0
yeh everyone duzz
afdude87 6
i just like how many thumbs down these got.
awesomeman2012 0
This isn't YouTube.
EffemmellXD 0
yep
musicboi96 1
yup
minecraft_fml 4
yep.
rubenardQKazoo 1
yep
actingchick9870 8
I don'
Ginkle45 1
Ur queer
KatrinaKitten 16
How about closing the door....
oliveindamiddle 0
Yea. Unless you have an extremely powerful "wee stream" or a 10 foot deep toilet bowl, I'm pretty sure a closed door would suffice.
mind_geek 15
mabey the door was loud. rusty hinges ect. some people are VERY light sleepers
bengermin 5
diapers are the most stealthy. don't even have to get out of bed, haha.
Niedermayer_20 12
could of been sleepwalking loooooooo
juicedboi 7
I would prefer if she woke me up and didn't leave urine puddles all over the place instead..
CsDy1395 6
haha, an extremely powerful wee stream :P brilliant
Daileyyy 0
maybe they sleep in the bathroom. lol.
krysxkatastrophe 14
I really don't think the sound of you peeing would wake him up. YDI
g_willikers24 17
agreed! unless she pees like a horse...
krysxkatastrophe 14
Or if he passed out on the bathroom floor...
chickunkey 0
or if she pees like oprah
sassypants93 17
23- If he did that, then he would have pee on him now.
stefluvsyou 4
wee? loo paper? lol
chanta24 10
exactly what i was thinking
zebraface 15
that's the first thing I thought too lol
macrosoft 3
silly uk
WordSmyth 2
"Wee" and "loo" sound so lame and they used "peed" in the second sentence anyway. Pissin' me off OP.
Sophie_Sovereign 6
And referring to something as 'So lame' sounds ridiculous in the UK, so you can shove it. Besides, we say 'pee' 'piss' 'shit' like everybody else. We just say 'wee' too. It may be weird to you but most things Americans say sound retarded in the UK. Take 'fanny' for example. In the US I believe it is an Arse. In the UK it is a ******.
nickperry21 4
your a tard. a fanny is an ass not a ******.
sublime420 11
and "arse" is just as annoying
rbubbles 20
ummm..... ydi but thankfully you didn't chuck a shit or have the runs
franceypants 0
what is loo paper? and who says wee??
lilmisslovely13 15
did you she she's from London?
layz_fml 0
i live in london; noone here says "loo paper" or "wee" :S its only people from liverpool who talk like that
itsmeyippie 0
Not London, UK, I knew just from reading the FML that OP was near that area so...
1215116a 14
loo paper = toilet paper in the USA since they call it a loo :)
geeksaresexy 18
Layz, you clearly don't know many people then..
ElphabaLives 4
I'm pretty sure it's not only my home city, thank you very much. (Oh, and Liverpool is much friendlier than London, visit us! Little bit of free advertising...I have absolutely no idea why I just did that.)
FloorKnocker 12
No it's not. A lot of people all across the country say it, you tool.
traze 7
You piss that loud you can wake someone up?
Nikkitaria 9
Your boyfriend probably misses too
skatergirl9875 0
exactly what i was thinking. theres probly already been plenty of piss on the ground
loopsy_fml 14
Yes. And she should blame him. Say he slept walked to the toilet and missed when he went pee