Pissed off

By lionhead14 - 20/05/2011 19:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 903
You deserved it 42 552

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How does sitting on the edge making it more quiet?

KatrinaKitten 16

How about closing the door....


How does sitting on the edge making it more quiet?

wopps that was for rbubbles

As a guy if I want to pee quietly I just pee against the inside part of the toilet where the water doesn't reach, which is probably what this chick was trying to do, which is harder to do without a penis.

Blake4477 0

Wait does your boyfriend sleep in the bathroom??(:

SteelCladAngel 0

I dunno 'bout you but I hear tell o these new house designs where the bathroom has a door connectin' to the bedroom I can hear my husband when he's using the toilet, and he can hear me....

it does in Europe, where the toilets are better, and less filled with water

Either he has the ears of a bat or she did allot of drugs.

it dosnt hit the water dumbass

itsgen 16

hah yeah apparently OP is a complete moron

boatsNhoes147 0

...and you're a complete bitch.

silentsniper441 0

it happens when you don't have a prescicion aiming device

serenaluvspie 0


Use your brain son. Your brain

When you hit the toilet water, it splashes, making a noise. When you sit ( Female) on the edge the urine hits the part without water making it silent. For males, aim for the waterless part.

It hits the inside of the bowl and silently trickles down.. but i really don't get how you don't realise that you're peeing on the floor!! Wouldn't it hit your feet or make some noise?

Hahahaha, jesus that's gotta suck.

crunchycereal 0

loose ******

^british toilet paper.

wikkedphuka 0

ur a fukface

ThatLooksSticky 16

the british use loose vaginas as toilet paper?

benjimm1 0


The British are strange people

not all of us are strange!!

CrazyJolteon 0

Yes you are

british or not wee and loo paper make you sound like your 4 years old

My cousins live in the UK and that's how they say their stuff. It may sound like something a 4 year here in America says but it's completely normal to use loo and wee in the UK.

benjimm1 0


itsmeyippie 0

what kind of American child uses the word loo paper? Maybe you could hear a child say wee but not that...

UK dumbass. If you were unaware, the UK is not referred to as America.

Annnnnd I should probably learn how to read. Herp derp. Let the down vote begin!

simply_improper 1

an this lil piggy went wee wee weee all the way home

dudeitsdanny 9

When I read this, I was actually thinking of the little girl from Family Guy that Stewie trains like Eliza Doolittle, haha. But with an even thicker cockney accent that may only exist in my imagination.

And Americans say 'restroom'! Sorry there's nowhere to actually rest in 90% of toilets so that makes zero sense..

over here, Americans seem weird.. so..

dudeitsdanny 9

^I agree with the restroom bit. But some people find "toilet" to be rude. I'd ask for "el baño", but that's just asking for redneck trouble. I've just decided that the next time I need to say "restroom" I'm gonna say "loo." My voice class is the perfect place for this, too! Now I'm excited for Tuesday..

138 people say "restroom" because it's better than telling everyone "I gotta take a shit"

WoAhAnNa123 0

haha thats so true^ :D

What's wrong with saying 'I need to visit the ladies/mens room'? That makes far more sense than restroom. You say restroom is more polite than toilet? Well wee is more polite than piss. Also loo is a colloquial term for toilet in England, there's is nothing childish about it. I don't get why people are making a big deal. She's a dumb idiot for peeing on the floor not for the words she has chosen to use!

anlhawks 5

hahaha I laughed

Hey hey hey! For some people peeing on the floor is completely normal! Gee...

GGimabeast 5

You can rest on the toilet as you do your business.

138- it's been replaced with bathroom

he/she is from london UK!!!!!

iluffhimm 0

rest stop for truck drivers us they got rest room

CptGap 0

die JB

CookieMonstr19 0


Yes. We geeks are sexy. And shut up about this restroom bullshit, it makes no sense but no one cares

Yes. We geeks are sexy. And shut up about this restroom bullshit, it makes no sense but no one cares

thagar 2

Don't stereotype I live in Texas and my dad went to Harvard and my friend has a scholarship to duke. My friend is 14, and I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that we're not all hicks cowboys or dumb asses

deadlydeadd 2

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
Pretty_In_Purple 0

I do!

rainport 0

yeh everyone duzz

i just like how many thumbs down these got.

awesomeman2012 0

This isn't YouTube.

minecraft_fml 4


rubenardQKazoo 1


Ginkle45 1

Ur queer

KatrinaKitten 16

How about closing the door....

oliveindamiddle 0

Yea. Unless you have an extremely powerful "wee stream" or a 10 foot deep toilet bowl, I'm pretty sure a closed door would suffice.

mind_geek 15

mabey the door was loud. rusty hinges ect. some people are VERY light sleepers

bengermin 5

diapers are the most stealthy. don't even have to get out of bed, haha.

could of been sleepwalking loooooooo

juicedboi 7

I would prefer if she woke me up and didn't leave urine puddles all over the place instead..

haha, an extremely powerful wee stream :P brilliant

maybe they sleep in the bathroom. lol.

I really don't think the sound of you peeing would wake him up. YDI

agreed! unless she pees like a horse...

Or if he passed out on the bathroom floor...

chickunkey 0

or if she pees like oprah

sassypants93 17

23- If he did that, then he would have pee on him now.

wee? loo paper? lol

chanta24 10

exactly what i was thinking

zebraface 15

that's the first thing I thought too lol

"Wee" and "loo" sound so lame and they used "peed" in the second sentence anyway. Pissin' me off OP.

Sophie_Sovereign 6

And referring to something as 'So lame' sounds ridiculous in the UK, so you can shove it. Besides, we say 'pee' 'piss' 'shit' like everybody else. We just say 'wee' too. It may be weird to you but most things Americans say sound retarded in the UK. Take 'fanny' for example. In the US I believe it is an Arse. In the UK it is a ******.

your a tard. a fanny is an ass not a ******.

sublime420 11

and "arse" is just as annoying

ummm..... ydi but thankfully you didn't chuck a shit or have the runs

what is loo paper? and who says wee??

lilmisslovely13 15

did you she she's from London?

i live in london; noone here says "loo paper" or "wee" :S its only people from liverpool who talk like that

itsmeyippie 0

Not London, UK, I knew just from reading the FML that OP was near that area so...

1215116a 14

loo paper = toilet paper in the USA since they call it a loo :)

Layz, you clearly don't know many people then..

I'm pretty sure it's not only my home city, thank you very much. (Oh, and Liverpool is much friendlier than London, visit us! Little bit of free advertising...I have absolutely no idea why I just did that.)

No it's not. A lot of people all across the country say it, you tool.

traze 7

You piss that loud you can wake someone up?

Nikkitaria 9

Your boyfriend probably misses too

exactly what i was thinking. theres probly already been plenty of piss on the ground

Yes. And she should blame him. Say he slept walked to the toilet and missed when he went pee