Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WHOWASTHEPHONE 10
How does sitting on the edge making it more quiet?
KatrinaKitten 16
How about closing the door....
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (253)
Lilybell2000 0
This is americia not England we saw pee and tolite paper BTW
benderbot19 0
the Internet is not America. asstwat.
lozzagouk 4
I think you meant "This is America, not England. We say 'pee' and 'toilet paper'." And OP was blatantly writing in the UK, where it is normal (even if not nationwide) to say "I need the loo." This is not rude or childish language. Though if you were in a very posh restaurant you would ask for directions to the "toilet", rather than "loo." And 99 times out of 100, I would say "wee" over "pee" or urinate. To me, "pee" sounds childish. So lets not make a fool of ourselves correcting people if we're wrong, OK? Jus' sayin'
aswan15 0
are you from London? what did you clen it up with and that's why you alway look first
CallMeHush 1
Good thing you didn't drop a duece.
boatsNhoes147 0
That is awesome. You're hilarious.
Mrdw 2
OP, I get it, my door in my AMERICAN apartment is thin, you can hear everything. And not everyone here is so stupid that we don't know "wee"
thecorygold 0
those silly Brits...
vbmg152 19
Men never have toilet paper! A lesson for you!
Chinnithy 0
why don't you face backward?
stevenmx86 8
86, you missed "thunder mug" for toilet lol
MRSsquarepants 0
I take it that you're british ?