Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
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Top comments
WHOWASTHEPHONE 10
How does sitting on the edge making it more quiet?
KatrinaKitten 16
How about closing the door....
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Comments (253)
ant1078 7
dutttty duttty duttty love
Ginny3407 2
Honestly people... Loo paper and wee are said in London and pretty much all of UK
ydnar 5
sorry OP Americans are dumb when it comes knowing anything about other countries such as the term loo for what we call bathroom.
mrahhhhh 21
Let me apologize for my American friends who insulted you. We'll immediately start learning the local mannerisms of every country in the world to avoid unknowingly insulting some foreigner who expects a country 5000 miles away to know their local slang.
KatrinaKitten 16
It's funny how you call us "dumb" when you can barely string together a sentence coherently. 1. Let's try some commas and proper capitalization. 2. Let's not omit necessary prepositions such as "to" after "comes" and before "knowing." 3. Let's learn to grow up and not make general assumptions about a specific country.
alym1617 0
Americans are dumb. overall at least, they don't give much of a shit about knowledge or science. we also spend more on education for worse results than most other countries. FYI
mizmasterchief 3
Canadians can figure it out and we're just as far so why can't you?
geeksaresexy 18
You guys are starting on ydnar for being dumb, guess what? Ydnar is AMERICAN!! You kind of proved ydnar's point there...
mrahhhhh 21
141: Guess what? You don't have to be from another country to make stupid remarks about the United States of America. Americans are allowed to criticize the Union (no matter how moronic their arguments are), and I'm allowed to disagree. It would be unfair to criticize only the idiots from foreign countries. I'll criticize any goddamn idiot I want, be s/he from England (like you), Texas, California (my home state), or living across the street from me.
geeksaresexy 18
That was aimed at katrinakitten who blatantly said 'You call us dumb'. To me this provides an 'us and them' scenario where all of America is 'us' and the rest of the world is 'them'. She is saying ydnar is dumb but Americas aren't. I was simply pointing out ydnar IS an American, so she is contradicting herself.
caniac59 0
ydi- you should always check to make sure you have toilet paper before going.
MrSexyPants 14
Does he sleep in the bathroom?
IsH3092 0
should of peed on him xD some guys like that kind of stuff ;) xD
XxGuard 0
I'm pretty sure he'd understand if you had to use the washroom at night... we all use it at one point or another
geeksaresexy 18
Washroom! That is a much better word than restroom! Why didn't I think of that earlier!
mexmelli13 0
lol I was like "loo?" "wee"? then I remembered I was American.
mexmelli13 0
lol I was like "loo?" "wee"? then I remembered I was American.
lmaoatall 6
I'm with everybody here, how loud are you pissing? you make it sound like a firehydrant exploiding.