Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
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Top comments
WHOWASTHEPHONE 10
How does sitting on the edge making it more quiet?
KatrinaKitten 16
How about closing the door....
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Comments (253)
maryburnsgreen 0
WTF. Wee? Loo? Are you a dumbass? YES.
xNephilim 19
As far as I know, this is British slang.
Riya2595 15
yes it is. but not in including Scotland!
CateXOX 0
So many ignorant people. *cough- 16- cough*
SteelCladAngel 0
so she should have said 'I hadta piss this morning blah blah blah so I sat at the edge of the toilet blah blah I found out there was no ass wiping paper' just because op uses words you don't know doesn't make her a dumbass. you're the dumbass for not realizing people use many different words for the same items toilet can John pot porcelain throne throne office chair pisser shitter crapper loo potty bog roll loo roll toilet paper butt paper Ass paper piss paper tp tissue toilet tissue bathroom tissue c wut I did thar?
itsmeyippie 0
Who rare rate this down, gave me a giggle at the beginning :P
itsmeyippie 0
Dare^
DaySetsFire 2
he Shouldve let you outside before bed.
Quitte le ! 27
haaaa!
iluvpink10 0
wee?
WillKill4Beer 0
That what I said. ???
FreebirdIII 1
Do you sound like a horse pissing normally? What did you clean it up with, your shirt?
Calyx_fml 22
Rub your own nose in it.
tucansam555 3
wee..........
lilmisslovely13 15
Okay people who are asking about the use of "wee" and "loo paper"... she's from London. Just pointing that out.
benderbot19 0
you had to wee? do you also call your ass your hiney?
jake12221212121 4
Do you also not know how to read the comment RIGHT FREAKING ABOVE yours?
fleckney26 25
And going for a pee pee is much better?
ThatLooksSticky 16
there's another trick that usually works. if you need to urinate, but you're afraid the noise might wake someone up...close the door.
BradenLock 4
I have been to, and know people who are from, Britain and NOBODY uses slang like that.
Riya2595 15
most the people I know do.
CateXOX 0
I happened to live in England for the most part of my life, and many people used those terms. Even if they didn't say them, they knew what they meant. I guess it just depends where in England you go.
HannahForbesxo 13
I live in Scotland and these words are used all the time, in fact there's rarely a sentence that we don't use "wee", though not in the same context. Still, "wee" and "loo" are very common here too.
geeksaresexy 18
Because you've clearly met EVERY single person in the whole of the UK! I live in England and I use both those words frequently along with 'bog roll'