Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently, her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me, because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother, who didn't bother telling her who I was, because he "wanted to see what she would do." FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML
Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
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Top comments
rachelfromtarget 14
idk why people think beating up the other man/women is an appropriate response to their partner cheating on them.
cakefete2 31
Your brother is a jerk. Maybe you and the guy who mistakenly beat you could teach him some manners.
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Comments (109)
BirdMockingBlack 12
OP, I hope you pressed charges against that asshole who attacked you. Your brother sounds like a total douche, and I hope you get some retribution for what happened. Please do comment and let us know how things have played out.
Spongegirlcs 17
Press charges. Seriously.
Nevrdai 5
You and your sibling there should have a little "brotherly discussion" about being a scumbag. It's kind of your duty as a brother.
luk32 9
Demand a free ride with his girlfriend! On the serious side, I would press charges. You got beaten up for no reason.
berkeleyjake 13
you should file charges of assault with the police against that guy
karma_kicks_back 16
You're brother is an asshole. On quite a few levels.
WMFG16 14
Now you know that things like this can happen at anytime, so you could take martial arts to have the ability to protect yourself in the future
alanharvey15 13
you should beat your brothers ass for it and then kick him out the house
figure_of_bleach 0
Bros befo hos
lonelyfuck 7
Well, seems like your brothers a douche