Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML
Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML
Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML
Today, I was having lunch with a friend when I went on a rant about how much I really dislike my boss, ranting about all his annoying habits. After a long tirade, my friend looked at me awkwardly and said, "You do realize he's my uncle, right?" FML
Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML
Today, my sister’s son, who adores me, started calling me, “my funny uncle.” I was later informed this is also a euphemism for an uncle who molested you. I didn't know, and now he won’t stop saying it. FML
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML
Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
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Top comments
shippingboat 8
That's equal parts disgusting and terrifying.
Axelerate 23
You definitely want to follow the buddy system when you're around him
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Comments (168)
eweidl12 6
he should be put in jail for that
TheLittleOnion 18
Please do yourself a favor and stay away from him! Get some pepper spray, and you are even allowed to have a Taser. Especially stay away when that man's on the juices. People just don't think at that point. Stay safe!
skyblueprincess 17
That's SICK
Kindeyu1005 14
Time to move.
Addiction333 14
The power of being a hot girl. Everyone wants to **** you. Even your uncle. Even your dad. Even your brother. Get used to it.
Startled_Toenail 21
"Incest in the morning! 97.1"
Marialenachan 9
That's really f.cked up o..O