Help me, doofus!

By rabbitoncocaine - 20/04/2012 06:41 - Germany - Unterbreizbach

Today, I locked my car. I put the key in my bag when suddenly my car began to roll backwards. I tried to get the key out of my bag but couldn't find it, and with the other hand I tried to stop the car. The worst thing was that some dumbass was watching me and didn't help. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 469
You deserved it 21 800

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I fail to see how he's the dumbass in this situation.

taniamw 9

Uhmmm. It's called a handbrake ?


taniamw 9

Uhmmm. It's called a handbrake ?

Why exactly would you need help to stop your own car again?

If you're on the outside, which I believe OP was...

You cant stop a car by holding with your hands (well in most cases)

KM96 24

OP could have possibly stopped it if helped with someone holding / pushing it. 38 because its rolling away

xStaciexLynnx 15

Really 57? You can stop a car with your barehands?

Ya 88 it's just rolling slowly it's pretty easy to push I've pushed my own car 10ft before

today I watched a dumbass not put on the parking brake and let her car roll away. I was laughing too hard to help. FHL

leogirl95 12

Op can't find their keys. Op is outside the car. Handbrake not accessible.

She tried to stop it with one hand. That right there is a fail. And someone could have helped her while she fumbled around for the keys. Makes me wonder how long it takes her to take out the key on a normal day

GrammurNutzy 2

FYI, with modern cars that have brake discs all round (as opposed to older cars with discs front/drums at the back) this is MUCH easier for to happen without OP being at fault. Even though you pull the handbrake all the way, (if the discs are heated up) the calipers start to slip as the discs cool down and contract. The calipers are no longer tight and the car can indeed roll - this doesn't happen with cars that have drums at the back. I once found my car about 3 parking spaces further down the road than when I arrived... Queue at least one dunbass now saying "Cool Story, bro." in 3 - 2 - 1.... :)

Cool story, brah.

GrammurNutzy 2

Dumbass. :) Thank you for helping us reach the FML Quota for Cliche Responses. We still require the following: 2 x 'Doesn't matter had sex' 1 x 'Seems Legit' 3 x STFU 18 x Random sarcastic responses and/or misenterpretation of your choosing Respond now, DocBastard, Perdix and Noor are ready to tear you a new one!

hellbilly205 17

Doesn't matter had sex, doesn't matter had sex. Seems legit, STFU, STFU, STFU. And im not clever enough for a sarcastic comment of my choosing at this time perhaps we will pick this up in the near future. -waits for my comment to be buried-

Why the hell should that "dumbass" help you out? He isn't obligated to do anything... YDI for trying to blame your stupidity on others

Handbrakes can fail without warning... Im sure op would have noticed the car moving when she got out.

She was locked OUTSIDE, dumbassss

I fail to see how he's the dumbass in this situation.

Birdie_Sage 0

He should've helped!

Meh. I still don't see how not helping lowers ones IQ.

The onlooker's a dumbass because they could've at least made some sort of attempt to help prevent something bad from happening. Instead they just stood there like a scarecrow.

izzy7 11

I agree with MrTitty. OP is the dumbass for not putting the car in park/putting on the parking break in the first place.

30- now tell me honestly if you were going about your day and out the corner of your eye saw someone chasing after there car as it rolled away would you drop what your doing and try to help or would you turn laugh and then continue with your day knowing its better than that shmucks.

How would they even help? Are they supposed to stand behind the car with their arms extended like superman in an attempt to stop it? In fact I think that would make them a dumbass and ran over. Come on now, let's be realistic.

KM96 24

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

#61 I agree, I wouldn't stand around laughing at a situation like that. It's not funny at all. It's not funny for someones car to roll away and possibly hit and injure someone else who's minding their business. I can honestly say that I would help in any way that I could if I would've seen this; I guess I was just raised that way. Yes, it wasn't smart of OP not to put the emergency brake on, but as someone stated above, we all make mistakes.

I think she expected the dumbass to use the 'force' to help her bring the car to a halt. Too bad it wasn't strong in him at the moment.

HairyPunisher 27

Well Doc I see this both ways. while I do agree with you overall, I think it completely depends how far into the rolling down the hill OP was. if it was right away then yeah someone could step in and help. but if she was like really far down the hill at that point then it would've just been dangerous for the onlooker to get involved. OP wasn't specific about how long the "dumbass" was watching.

StopDropNRoll 11

Actually doc MrTittySprinkles said he wouldn't laugh and is actually arguing to stop the car.

Hairy - true, but OP said she was trying to stop the car with her other hand. I interpreted that to mean the car was at a very slow roll.

bingababe 16

83 - go back and read the comments again.

xStaciexLynnx 15

85- Or she was just an idiot who thought she could stop a rolling car with her hands instead of the emergency brake no matter how fast it was going.

I was under the assumption that when good men do nothing, they become evil.

xStaciexLynnx - Have you ever tried to push a car that ran out of gas or wouldn't start? It isn't that difficult, but it takes some effort. It takes the same effort to stop a car rolling at a few kph. Would you rather just watch your car continue to roll into another car, another person, into a ditch, etc etc etc? No, you'd do whatever it took to stop it. Doesn't sound to me like OP is the idiot here.

Michael_92 20

I would have to say I would help stop the car even if i couldn't. It could lead up to a bad accident in which people died, at least you would know you helped instead of stood there and watched like a "dumbass."

83) I think it's time to read the comments again, mrtitty was arguing the point of the person not being a dumbass but a complete choad. doc) I agree with you, the decent person would have seen another person, especially a woman that probably wouldn't have had the upper body strength that you would have had . I also think that OP was either in a rush to be somewhere so she was on a subconscious state to forget about putting the hand brake on, or she is just a dumbass and forgot about it, either way you all are both wrong and right in a way.

mariet_fml 23

Neither we nor OP know jack shit about the bystander. There are a host of diseases and disorders that could render him completely incapable of helping in the slightest and could injure himself. Would have been nice for him to help? Sure. But if he thought he would put himself in danger by helping then he is not a dumbass.

The dumbass could be a woman, so maybe she knew she had none of the physical strength required to stop a moving car. Or she could've just thought it funny. And not all men are built like the hulk. If the car hadn't just started rolling, or he was too late to get there in time, he could have thought he had no chance of stopping it. Or he could've thought it was funny as well. Maybe they aren't horrible people, maybe they are. You don't know for sure.

Hah, well I remember a few years ago, my step father was a mechanic and a customer had brought his car to our house to have something looked at. While he was standing at the door I saw his car start rolling down the drive way hahaha. All I could do was point and say 'your car!' He was able to run down the drive way and stop it just before it hit our mail box.

115, So if the guy has some sort of injury he should drop his shit and run over? Do we know how far away he was? Do we know what kind of condition he was in? Do we know ANYTHING aside from the fact that he witnessed this take place? Yeah I think I'm tending toward the one who accuses others of being dumbasses after they just did something pretty stupid themselves as being the one with the biggest strike against their name. Regardless of the situation, many people freeze and panic when they see something like this, not hard to see how it doesn't make someone an idiot for what is pretty standard human behaviour.

baren 5

Took the words out of my mouth

Downtime, you need to stop trolling me. This isn't the first time you've done this. What "injury" are you even talking about? You're making all kinds of assumptions about the bystander having injuries, so you must have a very vivid imagination. All OP said was "some dumbass was watching me", not "some dumbass with crutches" or "some dumbass in a wheelchair". Since the vast majority of people on the street are uninjured, I think it's a very safe assumption that the bystander did NOT have some mysterious injury or other condition that would have prevented him from helping. I think it's sad that you think someone watching something like this unfold is normal human behaviour.

You need to learn what trolling is. Just because I disagree with you on topics it doesn't make it trolling. I believe there have been several times I've actually agreed with you too, but hey, people only see what they want to see. I personally know of at least 10 guys just off the top of my head who have back injuries and would not be in a condition to stop a car rolling down a hill but you wouldn't know it to look at them. In fact, I would be one of them. The point is, she doesn't know this guy or anything about him, so who the hell does she think she is insulting him for not running in to cover her stupid ass for something shes done. If you don't think neglecting to secure your car is stupid, you must have done it yourself. By the way, cars don't generally roll unless they're on an incline, that is completely different to moving a car on a flat plane. The only way the guy is a "dumbass" is if you assume he is in a situation to help, so I don't see how you can come to your conclusion through assumption but when I do the same theres an entirely different standard. And as far as your opinion on people freezing being "sad", well, I don't really care.

uncivil 5

The door was locked anyways

Because you're assuming he's injured and I'm assuming he's not. You know 10 people who couldn't help? Congratulations! You probably know 500 who could. Statistically, there's a much better chance that I'm right. But you're right - we don't know for sure and we're both assuming. So we should both probably stop.

I agree, but to clarify, I'm not suggesting he IS injured, rather just that IF he is that would be a completely valid reason for not stepping in. Now lets hug it out.

61 - that just goes to show that you need a computer to show your true personality if you think it's okay to be a dick just because you're on FML. At least have the balls to be a dick in real life as well.

Broken or not, a car is a possession. There is insurance to fix it and other cars if it breaks. However, if someone gets seriously hurt stopping a moving car, that's completely not worth it. In my job, I often have to exit a vehicle very quickly while it's still running. I put it into park on my way out of the vehicle. One time I did not and watched as it started rolling past me. I was able to jump into it and apply the brake, whereas I wouldn't have been able to do anything if it was locked. This is a mistake that is somewhat common at work and many guys have actually hit another parked car doing this, because the door was locked and no one standing nearby could do anything and they have tried many things over the years. This is speaking from experience. So I don't think the guy was necessarily a dick. The lucky thing is that I have never seen it move fast enough to hit an uninvolved pedestrian.

Hatesfate - If you think everyone on here only says exactly what they would say in real life, then you are truly the most naive little twit I've ever had the misfortune of seeing here. Now feel free to crawl right back to whatever rock you were hiding under and fuck off.

I push semi's all the time by hand (no trailer). One of our trucks weigh about 18900 lbs so I know it can be done.... Besides I know a passenger vehicle is much lighter! Pushing a semi is much easier than it sounds :)

I think it really depends on how steep the hill was I mean I'f I saw a steep hill and a car rolling down I wouldn't even bother to attempt to stop it if it was rolling slowly or the hill wasn't steep I would help but also I think a lot of people would stand there like a idiot not knowing what to do out of the sock

But it's fine for OP to call someone who is completely uninvolved a dumbass?

He's a dumb donkey. JK , I agree with you.

curlyfry33 8

Multitasking must not be your strong point, but then again i can never find anything When trying to find something in a chicks purse...

Humans are not made to multitask.

65) no people that are dyslexic or have other disorders shouldn't try to multitask. You are just an idiot that has an attention span of a sparrow.

Funny how most people on the site would have helped OP. If only it would be like this in real life...

Lightcrusade 9

I would have done the same thing OP I have a wicked sense of humor :)

Watching someone struggle instead of helping qualifies as a wicked sense of humour in your book? Fascinating.

it's literally and wicked sense of humor. except I generally call it twisted. but wicked works too

Notice the OP is a woman. I'm not sexist, sexism is wrong, and being wrong is for women.

You just dug your own grave. Prepare for an onslaught of verbal abuse. Just warning you I advance.

67: wow did you make that up all by yourself? cause it sounds like you tweaked a certain racist joke in an attempt to be funny

Thats not wicked or twisted humour... Go fuck a clown!!

You shouldn't have a driving licence. Get the bus.

connerwonner 7

I'm sure it was a mistake and OP didn't put her car in park before she turned off the engine. I don't get how that means that she doesn't know how to drive.

Stupidity like that can cause accidents. Accidents that could harm a child. There is no room for mistakes when in charge of a vehicle. They shouldn't be on the road.

I'm pretty sure everyone forgets to do stuff sometimes. One mistake does not mean you shouldn't have a license. It's also not that difficult to stop the car as long as someone helps you. Which is the point of the FML

twisted_cherub 14

#s 5 & 69- And I'm sure you've never gone over the speed limit, gone too far under the speed limit, missed a stop sign, entered an intersection on a yellow light when you could've stopped, failed to yield, failed to stop for pedestrians in a crosswalk, changed lanes without checking your blind spot, lost control of lane position due to not paying attention, cut too close in front of a semi coming back into your lane, didn't see a motorcycle and almost hit it, followed a semi too close, stayed in a semi's blind spot for too long, failed to merge smoothly due to not checking traffic in the lane you intended to merge into until it was too late (my biggest pet peeve as a trucker--just glance over at the top of the ramp, it's not that difficult!), or a multitude of other driving mistakes people think are minor until it causes a crash. Right?

Nope. I'm a professional driver and take it very seriously. Those who don't take it seriously are those who cause accidents. Shame on you driving a large vehicle with such a cavalier attitude.

slimjim8094 12

Aside from occasionally exceeding the speed limit when safe, nope. Maybe once or twice "running" a yellow, on a highway at speed and unsure of the length of the yellow. I don't know anyone who thinks drifting out of their lane or running a stop sign is an acceptable mistake. I'd want their license taken away.

twisted_cherub 14

LordofLincoln, I don't take driving lightly. I've never even scratched another vehicle or come close to hitting someone; except in the case of the woman who didn't notice the light was red until she was in the intersection and then slammed on the brakes, stopping right in front of me. I smoked my brakes, but I was able to stop short of hitting her. I kept from smashing her car into millions of tiny shards because I pay very close attention to everyone and everything around me. As a "professional driver", you should know that nearly everyone on the planet is a crappy driver at one point or another and that's why we're trained to predict traffic patterns rather than react to them. Also, anyone who claims to be perfect at anything is a liar.

DalPozzo13 10

What 2 said

This comment was just a waste of time. Of you liked 2's comment then you should have just thumbed it up.

russianfox) he just wanted to be a firstie poster do he was desperate, and that's the best he could come up with in a few short seconds. I hope you get massed with thumb downs commenter.

6- Wow, you're such an individual. Don't go around wasting precious FML comments.

That sux sorry op :/ i lose my keys in my black hole aka "purse" all the time.

same here. I spent five minutes trying to find my keys yesterday in my Mary Poppins bag of a purse. I think one of these days I'm going to get a collapsible coat rack or something and pull it out of there to screw with people

Lol, that's why I don't bother with purses. I put my keys, my phone and my wallet in the pockets of my jacket. Always within reach, and I'll never have to search for them.

Multitasking is not always the answer, it's said that your productivity is lowered by like 20-30% when multitasking.. If you had been more careful from the start, it would not happen ^_^ Have a nice day ^^ Fyl

Did you know that 89% of all statistics are made up.

muis545 21

Did u make that up?

Birdie_Sage 0

It definitely sounds legit to me.

Made up or not, I can definitely believe that. You can't always help your initial responses though.

When you multitask, you're doing at least two things during the same period of time. So ven if productivity is lowered by 25%, it's 75% x 200%, which is 150%, so you're still better off multitasking in the end.

The brain have problems to process those things, so the general capacity is lowered, and then easier to make mishaps

45- Were you multitasking when you wrote that?

Not really ^_^ Thats how my brain works overall, or lack of :P

45- English isn't his first language, lay off.

Sorry 105, Did not mean to offend someone

I love how you apologize for something that shouldn't have offended anyone in the first place, Keevarou. Some people can really be rude on here.

akdakine81 2

So you watched you're self? Dumb ass!

muis545 21

Are u sane?

So you watched you are self? Right..

Pancakemines 0

Oh the irony.

fuckmebutdontfml 16

wow, so the cigarette was so important that you failed to put your car in park sure have your priorities straight.

I'm confused what cigarette? Or are just trying to be a bitch.

the car is obviously a manual transmission if it started rolling backwards, so there is no 'park'

fuckmebutdontfml 16

I actually have no idea myself I'm sorry I tend to confuse and mix what I'm reading with what I'm thinking...I have no idea where the cigarette thing came from :/

They were inferring that smoking would cause stupidity like this. He was dissing the OP and smokers.