Today, I found a picture of my ex with a new boyfriend. This wouldn't be so bad if she didn't break up with me because she was lesbian. FML
Today, my teacher gave me a 0% on my personal narrative in my writing class. His only comment on the whole paper was, "Too long, didn't read." FML
Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML
Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML
Today, I was rejected from the college of my dreams. I am now the only kid in 5 generations on my dad's side and 3 on my mom's to not get accepted and go to this school. FML
Eyeslick tells us more.
Eyeslick 33
Yes you're correct! But let me Somme a little light on the subject(warning my reply includes religion so if you're just going to hate....just don't read this!) Where I live there are two big universities that are well known and both are some of the top ranking schools in the United states. That's why my family has been going there for a long time, and the reason why I was hoping to be able to attend said school (plus their soccer team was interested in me).This school is very difficult to get into, and well not to toot my own horn, I easily had the after school activities and grades to get into said school. After praying about why I wasn't accepted I received the distinct impression that I need to go to the other school because I am needed there for some reason....so well I guess I'll see what that means some day. Luckily I also applied to this second school because out of the two this one has a better medical school, which applies more towards my major of choice. I also have scholarships at this second school so that's a bonus. So in the end I guess everything ends a lot better then expected.
Today, as a student reporter for our college newspaper, I interviewed the president of my university. I was surprised to get an interview with him, and because of my nerves, as soon as I walked into his office I tripped over my own feet and fell face first into the ground. FML
Today, I sent my friend a Snapchat without any makeup on. She asked what filter I used, because it made my face look all red and blotchy. FML
Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML
Today, during class, a girl had suggested how I, a 16 year-old guy, would be a high maintenance girlfriend. We sat and debated this, allowing for other people to listen in and agree with her, and eventually the entire class agreed with her. Even the teacher. FML
Today, I gave a talk in my management class about creating effective presentations and holding people's attention. Go figure, pretty much nobody paid any attention. FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, a guy I blocked online for sending me creepy messages showed up at my house. I have no idea how he found my address, or even my real name. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, cable was installed at my house and the cable guy smelled like some horrid mix of cabbage and cheese. I'm pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. I've sprayed air freshener, lit candles, and opened windows despite the cold outside. I can't get rid of the smell. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, I got a new phone. Only after berating the Sprint employee and Apple support desk because I could not call, text, or access the Internet did I find out that I didn't need to buy a new phone. It was just on airplane mode. FML
Today, I got jumpscared, by my freshly-bathed grandma coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill. My cat ate it before I could pick it up. FML
Today, I now know what it feels like to violently sneeze while a nurse still has a needle in your arm. FML
Today, a short guy asked me how the world looked "up there", as I'm really tall. I decided to lift him up so he could see for himself. I failed both times I tried, to the great amusement of everyone watching. FML
Today, I got my very first tattoo. Excited, I sent a picture to my best friend. Her response? "You're joking, right?" FML
aiw14 tells us more.
aiw14 23
hi guys ? OP here. I'm actually very surprised this posted, aha, but just clarification, I got this tattoo as an early birthday present, and I got it matching with my mom so no matter what it's meaningful to me. it's of a silly ghost and it's one that both me and my mom both liked, and matches the relationship we have. after I explained to my friend that indeed it was not a joke, and the reasoning behind getting it, she apologized but yeah ? i don't regret the tattoo, but it's always nice for close friends' feedback! thanks for your guys' comments ☺️
Today, I found out that every time my boyfriend has cutely joked about my clothes not matching while we're just lounging around the house, he's really been hoping I would catch on that he thinks I look like a slob. FML
Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML
Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a friend out of state. He had some friends with him and we were all having a great time, until they found out I live in Utah. They instantly assumed I was Mormon and started to act weird around me. This is a frequent occurrence. FML
Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML
Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML
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