Miscellaneous: Today, I got my very first tattoo. Excited, I sent a picture...

By aiw14 - 12/02/2016 06:41 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I got my very first tattoo. Excited, I sent a picture to my best friend. Her response? "You're joking, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 493

You deserved it 4 484

aiw14 tells us more.

aiw14 23

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Saturday 13 February 2016 18:25

hi guys ? OP here. I'm actually very surprised this posted, aha, but just clarification, I got this tattoo as an early birthday present, and I got it matching with my mom so no matter what it's meaningful to me. it's of a silly ghost and it's one that both me and my mom both liked, and matches the relationship we have. after I explained to my friend that indeed it was not a joke, and the reasoning behind getting it, she apologized but yeah ? i don't regret the tattoo, but it's always nice for close friends' feedback! thanks for your guys' comments ☺️

Miscellaneous

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Walk on the wild side

Mama's boy

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 13:47 - United States - Roxboro

Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 020

You deserved it 1 888

By Anonymous - 30/11/2015 23:54 - Belgium - Gent

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 756

You deserved it 1 759

By Wounded_irony - 05/12/2017 05:00

Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 840

You deserved it 579

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 3 531

By Jeremy - 10/05/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 202

You deserved it 86 983

By FMyThroat - 18/01/2013 00:39 - Peru - Lima

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 618

You deserved it 2 807

Family Matters

By whyme102008 - 13/07/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 599

You deserved it 8 624

By Anonymous - 10/02/2010 07:54 - United States

Today, I bought a brand new huge leather recliner. After laying down and watching football for some time, I sit up and hear a loud shatter. My iPhone was crushed by the mechanics of the chair after it slipped out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 863

You deserved it 8 449

By Anonymous - 22/06/2010 23:44 - United States

Today, I found out that my younger sister had maxed out all three of my credit cards when I tried all three of the cards, and realized that I didn't have $5.29 to buy tampons and Advil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 916

You deserved it 5 295

By Charlayyyy - 16/12/2010 02:30

Today, in art class, we made plaster masks. We were supposed to put Vaseline on our partner's face so the plaster didn't rip their facial hair out. My partner forgot to put it on my eye brows and eye lashes. My face is now completely hairless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 582

You deserved it 7 264

By Enni - 27/08/2016 08:47

Today, my husband told me that, "a girl's orgasm serves no purpose". FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 601

You deserved it 1 510

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 14:07 - Canada

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 603

You deserved it 4 955

By MirandaJones - 20/03/2015 14:41 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 449

You deserved it 8 849

By Fire sucks. - 17/01/2014 03:42 - United States

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 450

You deserved it 4 635

By -__- - 28/10/2011 11:50 - Australia

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 115

You deserved it 2 580

The sleepwalkers are at it again!

By sierra - 11/03/2021 02:02

Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 276

By tarynfaye - 21/12/2011 11:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 936

You deserved it 4 830

By galen - 03/06/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 888

You deserved it 27 657

Caught

By EllaElle - 04/05/2021 06:01

Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 2 882

By KitKat270 - 28/05/2009 01:40 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she wouldn't be joining the rest of the girls in the limo ride to the church for my wedding ceremony because she wants to have her car with her. Why? Because she is planning to leave my wedding reception half way through to go home and take her dog out to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 621

You deserved it 4 972

By Anonymous. - 31/12/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, the guy I've been texting told me he loved me and he couldn't wait to make me his wife, and he couldn't wait for us to have kids and grow old together. I've only known him for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 536

You deserved it 5 006

By JessykaB - 28/08/2010 05:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 783

You deserved it 7 302

By maxus - 19/11/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was watching the episode where Spongebob smashes his guitar while playing. I walk into the kitchen to make him a snack, and I hear a loud crash... My nephew smashing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 805

You deserved it 4 485

First impressions

By wiseoldone - 03/02/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I'm going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out. I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 007

You deserved it 8 179

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 02:43 - United States - Boston

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 981

You deserved it 3 759

By Anonymous - 07/04/2014 17:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 989

You deserved it 48 699

By sexyfreak2510 - 03/09/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 273

You deserved it 51 774

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 09:52 - India

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 852

You deserved it 7 095

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 384

You deserved it 2 926

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 1 968

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 04:10 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I tried to hold my new boyfriend's hand while on a date. He let go quickly though, letting me know that we aren't at "that stage" of the relationship yet. We've been having sex for two weeks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 949

You deserved it 5 814

Birthday gift

By Anonymous - 02/02/2020 03:00 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring my obnoxious ex to my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 075

You deserved it 146

By nojob - 07/05/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 056

You deserved it 4 441

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 16:39 - United States

Today, I got my laptop back after sending it to Dell to repair water damage after a night of partying. Dell returned my computer unrepaired, saying it was unfixable. When I called to ask why they couldn't fix it, they told me it was a biohazard. Someone got drunk and pissed on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 227

You deserved it 23 503

By kirstiexoxo - 07/02/2012 08:11 - United States

Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M and M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 481

You deserved it 4 018

By xswitch74 - 16/03/2015 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 486

You deserved it 4 198

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 02:06 - United States

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 764

You deserved it 5 176

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 335

You deserved it 6 410

By NCanalyst - 11/11/2009 20:28 - Norway

Today, I interviewed potential employees for a job position that I was supposed to get promoted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 451

You deserved it 2 347

Good morals, you say?

By ELinDawk - 31/08/2021 01:01

Today, I think I found the person I feel is my soulmate while I was in Montana this past weekend. My friend’s wife’s best friend. She was perfect, same sense of humor, same sarcasm, good morals, and absolutely gorgeous. I was struck. And then I received a text message from my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 2 278

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Top comments

Ethan_Anonymous 28

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Friday 12 February 2016 18:00

That's the great thing about tattoos. Only you have to like it

hellnosucka 27

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Friday 12 February 2016 18:08

was it a potato?

Ethan_Anonymous 28

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Friday 12 February 2016 18:00

That's the great thing about tattoos. Only you have to like it

cheshireau 26

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Saturday 13 February 2016 5:50

Fuck I wish I could like this more than once. The constant shit my family gives me for mine is unbelievable.

kimeatszombies 22

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Saturday 13 February 2016 8:39

Love this comment.

WCARlover 34

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Friday 12 February 2016 18:02

Clearly you're happy with the result so that's what matters.

peteto818 28

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Friday 12 February 2016 18:04

Unless there's a spelling mistake, you do you

slingerslasher 24

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Friday 12 February 2016 19:01

"no rugrats"

epost1 13

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Friday 12 February 2016 19:26

"no ragrats"

Arthurie 30

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Friday 12 February 2016 19:35

Really? None? Not even one letter?

mariri9206 32

Saturday 13 February 2016 3:34

"no regerts"

ldhull 16

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Friday 12 February 2016 18:07

You wanted it you have it. Don't let your friend's opinion bother you to much.

Ramb0 20

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Friday 12 February 2016 18:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

hellnosucka 27

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Friday 12 February 2016 18:08

was it a potato?

fuckpotato 12

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Friday 12 February 2016 18:23

HEY. WE TATERS ARE A HUMBLE AND PEACEFUL FOLK.

RJ4712 11

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Saturday 13 February 2016 0:02

#8 So why is your username 'fuckpotato'?

Allornone 35

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Saturday 13 February 2016 6:00

If you read her profile, you'll see she's a "dirty potato." If that's the case, she could conceivably call herself a fuckpotato

kowsee 22

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Friday 12 February 2016 18:12

Your tattoo, your choice. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one... Enjoy the first experience, and then enjoy the beginning of the want for more hehe