Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my husband peeing into the bath. His excuse was that he was simply too tired to pay enough attention to aim properly into the toilet bowl, this way he could just undo his zip, piss without even opening his eyes, then go to bed. I married a wild animal. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML
Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Crowned Sataness 12
you're a juggalo and something this simple skeeves you out?
Charlie Given 28
Well don't take so long in the bathroom that your husband has to go outside and pee, and there's nothing wrong with urinating outside ,humans did it for millions of years and animals currently do it lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
d j mom 9
a tree not so bad, that's sheer you go when toy camp especially if he had to go bad. the sink?!? eewww!
Crowned Sataness 12
you're a juggalo and something this simple skeeves you out?
juggalo2 22
Woop woop
Charlie Given 28
Well don't take so long in the bathroom that your husband has to go outside and pee, and there's nothing wrong with urinating outside ,humans did it for millions of years and animals currently do it lol
Hangryko 32
Sorry you married a manchild, OP. He needs to use the effing toilet.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Can't a guy mark his territory in peace?
boilerdude 4
Oh no. its like like we pissed in nature for millions of years or anything. get a hobby and stop bitching about your husband doing completely normal things.