Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to explain to my mother that it is inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

#13673860
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33330) - you deserved it (2571)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I spent over $160 and 2 hours preparing for a Halloween party I was throwing. The only person who showed up was my sister, who helped me decorate. FML

#13673207
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35160) - you deserved it (4105)

On 11/01/2010 at 9:14am - misc - by halloweenless (woman) - United States

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

#13673101
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (5664)

On 11/01/2010 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML

#13672466
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30348) - you deserved it (2427)

On 11/01/2010 at 6:15am - love - by Googlebug - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

#13671939
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9698) - you deserved it (54719)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it was my big sister's birthday, and I was told the iPod I ordered her online was not coming due to a mix up. I drove to three different electronic stores before I found the one she wanted. After spending forever in traffic, I came home to find a package on my doorstep. It was her iPod. FML

#13670033
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29360) - you deserved it (3830)

On 11/01/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I spent over an hour decorating my house for trick or treaters. I never got one person at my door because I forgot to unlock my gate. FML

#13667842
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8692) - you deserved it (33788)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:08pm - misc - by halloweensucks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a car accident. While getting my things out of the car to bring into the tow truck, I noticed the handcuffs from my Halloween costume were still in the trunk. The tow truck driver noticed before I did, because he smiled, winked, and asked if I needed any more help. FML

#13665915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24742) - you deserved it (5123)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:27pm - intimacy - by jo1429 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

#13664079
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22149) - you deserved it (7486)

On 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I wore my high school letterman jacket while I was out shopping. A man saw me and muttered to his wife about how sad it is some adults can't grow up and continue to wear their high school paraphernalia, constantly trying to relive their senior year. I am a senior. FML

#13662934
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29897) - you deserved it (2873)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:10pm - misc - by yeahno (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was running a marathon for my school. Two hot girls started talking to me, so I glanced at them and smiled. I turned back, just in time to knee a little boy in the face. FML

#13662632
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (7529)

On 10/31/2010 at 11:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68613) - you deserved it (9611)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

perdix's comment : You're going to have shitty kids.

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Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

#13660294
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25629) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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