By vet1 - 11/07/2013 15:18 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML
I agree, your life sucks 63 598
You deserved it 7 334

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Wtf did I just read? You had to toss off a dog?

I'm trying to figure out when you would actually need to know how to do this...

Comments

~Trust the canine touch~~

Maybe one day it will come in 'handy'

Did you atleast buy the dog dinner furrst? I guess that's one bone the dog didn't mind sharing!

I never knew that was even a thing

LOL that's another way to give the dog a "treat" I guess

But did he call you the next day?

If you can beat them, join them.

Resistance is futile. You will look

#67 why are you having a profile picture of the dutch santa claus while you are english?

#110 cause Dutch Santa is way cooler than coca cola Claus! Besides, Dutch Santa has a sidekick: Black Peter!

Even sinterklass has to have a private life. And I like the big apple.

67 is American. *Shakes head slowly at your fail.*

He isn't even English, he is American(?). #110

Wtf did I just read? You had to toss off a dog?

This has me rethinking veterinary school.

I took a vet class, and I never had to do that! That doesn't sound right to me, why would you have to do that!? Of course, this was just a vet assisting class I took.

Ok I just read the comments to post 3, now it makes sense.

32...what exactly does Matt Bonner have to do with this?!

78... he had to do it because he's studying to become a dr, not just assisting

86, I know, what I meant was that was most likely why I never had to do that.

pornhub strikes again folks.

More like spankwire!

Remember to cup the gonads...

Did the instructor ask the class to applaud.. or just give you a hand.

I was going to say that, but you beat me to it. ^_^

Well, I guess when you get jerked off my the assistant vet, it's just not the same

I'm trying to figure out when you would actually need to know how to do this...

I second this. Maybe it's a medical school thing for veterinarians. Just go with it, I guess.

It's for artificial insemination.

It's for hazing the new students. To see who will and won't jerk off a dog.

Of course you'd know about about this, Ali. Haha.

Yeah, it's to collect semen for artificial insemination. They do the same thing for cows and horses.

Thank you 77, now it makes sense to me.

But why would you need to do that on a dog for artificial insemination? I can see why they do it on cows and horses. But aren't we trying to control the population of dogs? Is it done the same way for cows and horses as it is dogs? Maybe just practicing on a smaller animal? Still... That is pretty disgusting. It just seems wrong to me to touch an animal in that way.

Some breeds of dogs can't mate naturally because of their body shape and bad joints. English Bulldogs are this way. The only way for them to reproduce is through artificial insemination.

And English bulldogs are also standardly born by c-section because giving birth is too dangerous to the mother. They can't breed on their own... They can't give birth on their own... They have a lot of nasal and eye problems... Kinda makes you question the motives of all of this :/

My dachshund had to be bred with artificial insemination, simply because she wasn't into the whole intercourse thing.

There are cases in which a vet would need a semen sample from a dog; this is really the easiest way to do so.

122 - They also almost always get arthritis. I'm currently dealing with my bulldog going through all of these issues and more. Poor things.

They do the same for horses but for bulls they use an electro-ejaculator (electric probe to induce ejaculation) up the butt.

Where do I get an electro-ejaculator???

SkyGuy32 17

#109, I guess they just think "...beastiality isn't so wrong y'know?" =P

For only $249.99 you too can have an Electro-Ejaculator. Electro-Ejaculator: Go Fuck Yourself! (tm)

Uh oh. Misplaced a decimal. That should be $2499.99. Jeez, that's really expensive, huh?

Sometimes when a dog humps too much their penises get stuck and won't go back in until he gets off. I had a friend that had to jerk off her dog daily, until she finally took away his hump toy...

@77, according to my research, an American Dad episode, that traumatizes the horse. Is this not true?

Well lets just say by doing this you can successfully create a mix between a chihuahua and a grey hound

when you have show dogs and want to breed them but you don't want to have them have sex right then and there

I think it would have been funnier if it had been a weiner dog you demonstrated on :) think of the plus side, OP: you'll be dog's best friend ;)

I thought it was pretty funny seeing how OP is a guy. Must have been awkward for the dog as well with everyone watching.

I don't think the dog cared whether it was a man or woman jacking it off xD and most females I know would feel just as awkward jacking a dog off as any guy would.....

As an aside, OP is also the abbreviation for the vet campus in SA... :)

Hey atleast you have the magic touch right?

just keep tugging, just keep tugging, just keep tugging tugging tugging, what do we do we tug, tug, tug

We live tp tugggg, we LOVE to tug we love to tug.

Why in the the world would you EVER have to jerk off a dog?

Artificial insemination?? Lol

To test for doggy gonorrhea?

maybe for area specific tests, possibly to see if the dog has been snipped

I think it's fairly obvious visually whether the dog has been snipped... Here in the UK the testes are removed so there isn't much guesswork (or jerking off!) involved.

Hate to break it to you but the UK isn't special when it comes to copping off dogs balls, that guy is just clearly an idiot and doesn't know that we don't treat dogs like grown men who still want balls but no baby (or maybe he has a spoiled rat dog)

Don't think I could ever be a vet

That's disgusting.

When would a veterinarian need to do this?

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

He deserves it for wanting to get his degree???

@19 Yes, because as 10 pointed out, if things in life get tough, you have to just give up. If somethings outside of your small comfort zone, why bother trying?

37, because sometimes you win more by doing things than you lose by not doing them. For example, a moment of awkwardness vs. achieving your goal.

But most of being a doctor is out f your comfort zone. Besides, it's good to be out of your comfort zone. You won't get anywhere in life if you don't put yourself out there and be spontaneous

I still maintain that its the thought that counts. I never do anything, I just think about stuff. Goals are for suckers. They just serve to make you feel like a failure when you give up on them.

Pusslicker, I guess they didn't perceive your blatant sarcasm. Shame.

Oh crap you're right. And here at first I didn't understand why my comment was buried. XD

I mean it's violating an animal... some people aren't animal molesters so...