ALL FML

Hey OP here, thanks for all the support guys. Luckily I didn't get into an accident. I was able to come out of the whole incident without a scratch but a massive itchy red welt. The doctor said I'll be fine in a few days time. :)

OP here... I can't believe this got published. After I posted it I realised it was kinda more '**** the pigeons life' well, not so much, since it was dead. Basically I was on reception that day and I can see through the front door's window into the car park so I do tend to gaze out of it a lot. I noticed the dead pigeon on my way in but I was already running late so I didn't have time to pick it up or bury it. I promised myself I'd get it at the end of the day if it was still there... well as you can imagine, it wasn't :( About 11am I saw this car pull into the car park. At first it went right around it, but a few minutes later I saw it reversing. Then one person got out of the car, went behind it and looked like she was signalling to the driver where to drive. I couldn't look as the car went over, I swore I could hear the cracks from where I was, it was awful. The driver then drove off of it and parked on the curb. I was so shocked i was just staring wide-mouthed as the driver got out with a huge camera bag and tripod. They then actually picked the main body of it up and put it in their car. It was all over in about 10 minutes, honestly the most disturbing thing I think I've ever witnessed. Also, I'm loving all the bird puns. I guess that couple made a right 'tit' of themselves, eh? :P

OP here... I have no idea why she hit me instead of asking me not to help and still haven't a clue as to what stereotype it was. I was waiting for my father to come out of the store when I noticed her crossing the street when she just dropped the bags I came to help and she swung whatever was left in the bag at me till I left. I lucky didn't get hurt but I was kinda humiliated but as far as I could tell no one saw. I got a laugh telling my friends at school though so either way it just another funny story to tell.

Hello OP here, So, basically this is what happened: As my dad is a pastor, we attend church as a family. I special ordered the cake and decided to pick it up, Sunday morning before going to church. The plan was to drop the cake off at my sisters house along with our two german shepherds since dogs aren't allowed in my church and I didn't want to leave them in my truck for health and safety reasons. So I picked up the cake, put both of the dogs in the back and placed the cake on the passenger seat. Halfway to my sister's house, it starts to get hot in the truck, so I rolled down the passenger window and of course what does every dog in the planet want to do if there's an open window? Stick his head out of the window. Afraid that he would jump out, I commanded him to "stop and sit and needless to say, as thankful I am that the cake was in a box, there was an obvious inevitable depression in it. Mom was too busy to notice since I bought her a kayak and a beautiful card. But lesson well learned. Thank you for the birthday wishes, and take care!

Just an extra bit of info: I was with my parents at the airport, so I did make it back... after 45 minutes of going through security and announcing that I was an idiot on the intercom so my dad could save me.

OP here! Just to clarify, I was very understanding of his stress. We both actually suffer from anxiety so it was a hard day in general. This was going to be his first night moved out from his parents though and change is always hard. Once we woke up the next morning I showed him we got published and we were both excited! haha no hard feelings on either side:) The honeymoon has been great. It's so nice to get away from everyone:) Thank you for all the kind wishes! We are both so excited to be married to each other as best friends.