Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML
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Top comments
By
ThatTennisKid14
| 13
That takes "shitty sex life" to a whole new level
By
BreM16
| 23
Oh my.. I bet she felt really bad! Well I guess now you guys could take a shower together instead
COMMENTS
By
Nexa_fml
| 21
And here comes all the shit puns/jokes..
Reply
extrasnipes
| 22
The fact that people say that one line more often then people actually say puns is a real bother.
Reply
ColonelCusswords
| 24
what a shitty comment
Reply
ColonelCusswords
| 24
sorry, i have a shit attitude
Reply
ColonelCusswords
| 24
i literally aint got any other shit to do right now
Reply
ughed
| 14
that was a shitty attempt at puns, #52
Reply
ColonelCusswords
| 24
well shit... you hurt me bud...
Reply
Jonkbaby
| 20
more like ""taco hell"" am I right though.
By
ThatTennisKid14
| 13
That takes "shitty sex life" to a whole new level
Reply
MortenM
| 17
Just the wrong crowd. Some people like brown showers
Reply
Grenith
| 21
Really? You're getting away with a 'shitty' pun? Why would the fml community let you do that. That merits fml capital pun-ishment, the ban hammer.
Reply
KayDee29
| 31
Yeah, #100 not sure why this got a top comment... First time I've ever seen a shit pun not get down voted on any internet site.
By
beaglegal
| 42
Well what did you expect?
Reply
cheeeksss
| 29
Idk about you, but I have never shitted my bowels onto another human being after eating Taco Bell.
Reply
slingerslasher
| 24
#53 better rethink your life goals then
Reply
cristy91
| 33
I'm guessing OP was assuminh his gf would go to the bathroom if she felt her stomach wretch. If you care about the person you're with you would not risk that
Reply
bluefairy_fml
| 24
Sometimes you just can't make it to the bathroom in time. I'm sure OP's girlfriend did not actually mean to "shart" on him and the bed. Of course she would have prefered to do it in the toilet if she could.
Reply
longhorn_cowgirl
| 4
Sometimes you really can't tell if it's a fart or a shart...but if you're naked and especially naked and against someone, I don't really know why you'd risk it!
By
justintart
| 2
I was gonna make an anal joke, butt fuck it..get it?
Reply
Senseless_487
| 29
Yes, we get it. I'll show you the door.
Reply
freddygasman
| 18
maybe the...............back door.
Reply
ColonelCusswords
| 24
thanks for that
Reply
countryrose92
| 23
46, you cracked me up. Lol. Idk why that shit was so funny, but it was. Thanms
By
BreM16
| 23
Oh my.. I bet she felt really bad! Well I guess now you guys could take a shower together instead
Reply
freddygasman
| 18
she felt relieved, but bad.
Reply
Brandi_Faith
| 33
I can't even imagine how embarrassed she was! And definitely don't take a shower with her, that shower may not end well either. Best thing you can do is stay away from any nakedness on her part, away from the bathroom (so it's available when she needs it), and never mention the situation again. I'm sure she's incredibly humiliated. Poor girl.
Reply
tantanpanda
| 26
^mhm, feel sorry for the girl when the guy gets the punishment. F her life and not OPs because she's embarrassed. I see how It is.
Reply
Matheo_fml
| 21
Way to see the positive in everything. A personal virtue that is diminishing from this earth day by day...
By
yoursucklives
| 36
hahaha shartpocalypse, interesting word combination.
i can't begin to imagine how mortified she must have been. i'm sorry for both of you.
i can't begin to imagine how mortified she must have been. i'm sorry for both of you.
Reply
attaboyyy11
| 11
Truly
By
Backbone
| 11
I guess you irritate the shit out of her?!?!
By
ASeeR
| 14
try to ignite a lighter while she doing it ...
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
Because the first thought that comes to mind when you someone accidentally shits on your stomach is "I should light this on fire."
Reply
PharmacyJoe
| 13
25: Well it would kill all the enteral bacteria, I guess. :x
By
RickySleeves
| 20
Taco Bell is worth it.
By
ColonelCusswords
| 24
Well look at the bright side, at least you were only spooning naked and not doing more intimate things naked.
Reply
Epikatz
| 22
Why is this the bright side, exactly?...
Reply
larrena2377
| 26
Like fucking her right in the pussy?
Reply
ColonelCusswords
| 24
Fucking her right in the pussy is a great example of something you dont want to be doing as the shartpocalypse begins
Reply
tantanpanda
| 26
yea but if you're having sex, the shart won't be on you unless you're trying something else...
Reply
greekk
| 21
doggy style #11