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That takes "shitty sex life" to a whole new level

Oh my.. I bet she felt really bad! Well I guess now you guys could take a shower together instead

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And here comes all the shit puns/jokes..

The fact that people say that one line more often then people actually say puns is a real bother.

what a shitty comment

sorry, i have a shit attitude

i literally aint got any other shit to do right now

that was a shitty attempt at puns, #52

well shit... you hurt me bud...

more like ""taco hell"" am I right though.

That takes "shitty sex life" to a whole new level

Just the wrong crowd. Some people like brown showers

Really? You're getting away with a 'shitty' pun? Why would the fml community let you do that. That merits fml capital pun-ishment, the ban hammer.

Yeah, #100 not sure why this got a top comment... First time I've ever seen a shit pun not get down voted on any internet site.

Well what did you expect?

Idk about you, but I have never shitted my bowels onto another human being after eating Taco Bell.

#53 better rethink your life goals then

I'm guessing OP was assuminh his gf would go to the bathroom if she felt her stomach wretch. If you care about the person you're with you would not risk that

Sometimes you just can't make it to the bathroom in time. I'm sure OP's girlfriend did not actually mean to "shart" on him and the bed. Of course she would have prefered to do it in the toilet if she could.

Sometimes you really can't tell if it's a fart or a shart...but if you're naked and especially naked and against someone, I don't really know why you'd risk it!

I was gonna make an anal joke, butt fuck it..get it?

Yes, we get it. I'll show you the door.

maybe the...............back door.

46, you cracked me up. Lol. Idk why that shit was so funny, but it was. Thanms

Oh my.. I bet she felt really bad! Well I guess now you guys could take a shower together instead

she felt relieved, but bad.

I can't even imagine how embarrassed she was! And definitely don't take a shower with her, that shower may not end well either. Best thing you can do is stay away from any nakedness on her part, away from the bathroom (so it's available when she needs it), and never mention the situation again. I'm sure she's incredibly humiliated. Poor girl.

^mhm, feel sorry for the girl when the guy gets the punishment. F her life and not OPs because she's embarrassed. I see how It is.

Way to see the positive in everything. A personal virtue that is diminishing from this earth day by day...

hahaha shartpocalypse, interesting word combination. i can't begin to imagine how mortified she must have been. i'm sorry for both of you.

I guess you irritate the shit out of her?!?!

try to ignite a lighter while she doing it ...

Because the first thought that comes to mind when you someone accidentally shits on your stomach is "I should light this on fire."

25: Well it would kill all the enteral bacteria, I guess. :x

Taco Bell is worth it.

Well look at the bright side, at least you were only spooning naked and not doing more intimate things naked.

Why is this the bright side, exactly?...

Like fucking her right in the pussy?

Fucking her right in the pussy is a great example of something you dont want to be doing as the shartpocalypse begins

yea but if you're having sex, the shart won't be on you unless you're trying something else...

doggy style #11