By Dig4life - 05/06/2015 13:42 - United States - Kent
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My mom hates it when I spend any time with my dad or show him any kind of love so I kinda get this.
It's so wrong for a parent to turn their child on the other parent, or to use them or involve them in their own parental issues! I understand that they're afraid they're going to lose their time and love to the other parent, but saying bad things about your child's father/mother only makes them feel bad and feel disloyal to one or the other. I swear, adults need to get their crap together and act like adults! I hate when the kids pay the price for their own issues and problems. Divorced parents need to suck it up and act civilly towards the other parent for the sake of the kids. Leave your issues behind when you're together with the other parent and in front of the kid. The fact is that both parents will be in each other's lives probably forever since you had kids together, and the other fact is that both of you love your kid, so act like mature adults, learn to live with each other and be able to talk without ripping someone's head off, and don't let the kids get screwed over for your mistakes! *rant over*
Ya, she sounds jealous and hurt. I'm sorry she couldn't act like an adult and just say how she feels without talking crap about your dad or making you feel bad. If I were you I would talk to her about it. Tell her you're sorry she feels jealous or upset, let her know you love her too and that you'll plan to do something together as soon as you get back, and then calmly let her know that what she said was childish and mean and that you hate her talking bad about your dad or involving you in their issues just because she's upset. Tell her it's not ok to talk that way about your dad and tell her you won't tolerate it, the same way you wouldn't tolerate your dad trash talking her. Tell her you understand that the relationship between your mom and dad is strained and there's a lot of history and baggage there, but that you love both of them and want them to try and be civil for your sake. Hopefully she'll realize how childish she was being and hopefully she won't talk trash about your dad anymore and will be able to be civil on your behalf. This is definitely a hard conversation to have, but it's worth having or else things will continue to stay the same. Good luck op!