Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I frantically chased a customer down the parking lot, because they had left their package at my register. Only to find out that the whole time I was chasing the wrong person. FML

#17678735
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23147) - you deserved it (4288)

On 09/06/2011 at 5:32am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (4385)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

#17661363
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26716) - you deserved it (4291)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34813) - you deserved it (2866)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML

#17646578
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19769) - you deserved it (4461)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:53pm - work - by whattalife (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8749) - you deserved it (28693)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML

#17635608
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32159) - you deserved it (2546)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:17pm - work - by ReallyNow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

#17634820
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36278) - you deserved it (2722)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by WhatTheFaf (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

#17633447
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29752) - you deserved it (1925)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

#17630283
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (2042)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:45pm - work - by chicoallen - United States

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

#17623287
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (4586)

On 08/30/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak... from the sewage line. FML

#17621192
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29314) - you deserved it (2128)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - work - by honeybee2487 - United States

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

#17618685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10603) - you deserved it (29439)

On 08/30/2011 at 2:30am - work - by rojin12 - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: