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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

#15931079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (3324)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

#15923303
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33338) - you deserved it (2671)

On 04/25/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

#15919542
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31102) - you deserved it (3201)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:02pm - work - by lpspann87 - United States (Florida)

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

#15917081
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34284) - you deserved it (3383)

On 04/25/2011 at 7:41am - work - by Aginsafa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML

#15899669
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33086) - you deserved it (6416)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

#15891295
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34656) - you deserved it (3310) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

#15887024
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32387) - you deserved it (3092)

On 04/22/2011 at 2:43pm - work - by Ashleigh - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I have a new boss. She claims to be a professional Angry Birds player. FML

#15884668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (4902)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:42am - work - by Username -

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

#15884544
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (2317)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:26am - work - by op-poopy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML

#15883320
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28799) - you deserved it (6398)

On 04/22/2011 at 6:50am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

#15881339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8209) - you deserved it (38826)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by anonymous -

Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML

#15877109
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8949) - you deserved it (27093)

On 04/21/2011 at 7:49pm - work - by Clueless (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML

#15869233
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (2588)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:27am - work - by Forgetable (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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