Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
How very dare you?
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Today, I was fired for job abandonment. Yesterday, my boss told me to go home early because we were so slow. After I reminded him, he laughed and said, "Oh yeah... You're still fired." FML
Today, I got fired. My coworker decided to imitate my voice, stand outside of my boss's office door, and say insulting things about his daughter. FML
Today, just a few minutes after I got to work, my usually laconic boss came into my office and said, "Pack your stuff and get the f*ck out." Apparently, half my department was being downsized. Thinking it was an April Fool's, I burst out laughing and told him how funny the prank was. He wasn't kidding. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
Got something for you
Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML
Top comments
redreynard 14
Well they aren't as different as you think. Birds are descended from dinosaurs.
FireFlie07 20
He seriously thought birds were reptiles???Lmao
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Comments (253)
ryanLinke 4
your boss is so smart.
syley 5
It's might not be that dumb of a question actually. Maybe the boss heard that scientists have found evidence linking chickens to tyrannosaurs and thought maybe they would be considered reptiles (which they have) and wanted to know what his employee thought. But seeing as I wasn't there I can't vouch for the boss he may very well just be dumb, just taking a guess here.
hahayourmom101 5
It's like saying a tree is an orange. The two thinfs are in no way close. And you'd have to be an idiot to believe it.
BRLHP 24
138, oranges grow on trees. Which makes it somewhat close.
chilearmy123 4
Wait.. Are birds reptiles tho?
RaggleFrock 13
Chickens are dinosaurs, they have just got smaller and yummier.
killdozer1 2
Zoologically speaking, chickens are mammals. But, in terms of evolution, the most recent common ancestor of birds and mammals would be a reptilian species. This is evident with several body systems in birds, including gizzards. So yes, chickens are technically reptilian.
RacerX1695 1
I actually just finished a biology paper on the subject, yes, aves are the closest relative to reptilian species, and if you look closely at the chicken, it can be noted that they actually are scaled creatures, just have an extra feathery layer on top. A common ancestor for such a clade would be the archaeopteryx… look it up if you don't know what it is…
goaliemkl123 8
Archaeopteryx. Look it up
goaliemkl123 8
I did not read racer x's comment.........this is embarrassing.
YourBuddyElmo 5
Still, as things stand chickens are not considered to be reptiles as we know them today. At the very least, the boss should have expounded and not over-reacted at what can easily be construed as a comical question.
Silverangel007 3
This may be very delayed but how the hell are birds classified as mammals?? I majored in zoology and I've never ever heard that one
MCweSCRAPPY 2
It's based on genetics, not necessarily physical appearance. The DNA strands could share similarities while not looking alike. Also, they found that velociraptors had feathers so they did look alike.
AKGirlinSD 20
Original poster, be glad you're, most likely, not working for him anymore.
abnormalbird 11
"Chickens are mammals" I just winced at that
FireFlie07 20
He seriously thought birds were reptiles???Lmao
biggestfan23 11
Well I can probably guess who didn't pay attention in class in elementary school
iMadeAMess 0
What exactly is your line of work ?
swankmrpancake 8
It's really not that big of a mistake. It's one that anybody who didn't do a lot of science in high school could make.
hansbo 6
A quick glance at Wikipedia shows us that birds are indeed sometimes classified as reptiles, though not officially. In fact, crocodiles are more closely related to birds than they are to lizards, despite both crocodiles and lizards being reptiles. If one is aware that birds evolved directly from dinosaurs, it's not that much of a stretch to be curious as to whether they are actually classified as reptiles. So, the boss was wrong, but not laughably so.
Roflsauruz 12
^ No, you pretty much would have had to skip elementary and high school altogether, rarely leave the house, and never talk to anybody about things like that. It's COMMON SENSE. I don't see how ANYONE, besides uneducated children, would even CONSIDER a bird to be a reptile. (And no, we're not talking about flying dinosaurs here - I'm pretty sure there were actual birds in dinosaur times... But not sure. Seems like there could have been.... Anyone who knows for sure, feel free to enlighten me, lest I search google for my answer.) OP, somebody who's THAT stupid should NOT be your boss. FYL.
missalkali 8
you're using wiki as a factual source? you're laughably stupid, along with the boss
Roflsauruz 12
34- thanks for the info, although I wouldn't be so hasty as to use Wikipedia as your form of validation. Some more research will have to be done on this subject from a variety of sources before I can believe that a bird is, in fact, of the reptilian family.
suncifir 6
I find it funny how my dad uses Wikipedia to help do his job, and he works in safety at a chemical plant.
brigante45 5
Watch the Discovery Channel. You can learn a thing or two. They say turkeys evolved from dinosaurs.
Abdul888 16
yeah, according to wikipedia, birds are reptiles and humans are a form of birds especially when drunk! (you know we fly)
therealslim 15
Pretty sure wiki doesn't say that, 64..
SystemofaBlink41 27
65- dude, he was--- never mind....
CaptTeemo 10
The T-Rex of our time is the every day chicken. Just look at how they run then you'll believe me
Torch15 9
Lol it's funny cuz they actually are reptiles...
hansbo 6
Relax a bit, I'm using Wikipedia as a source for an anonymous comment field on the Internet, not a doctoral dissertation. Most studies on the subject points to Wikipedia being as correct, or even more correct, than other encyclopedias when it comes to the natural sciences.
a1f0sff 25
Theory of evolution people, theory of evolution! What 34 said is correct, there are species in one group (reptiles, mammals, etc.) that are more related to species from another group than of their own group. These so-called groups include the animals that have similar behavior and similar characteristics but that doesn't mean that their ancestor was the same. Different animals from the same ancestor develop different ways of living, as well as species from different ancestors develop similar characteristics, thus being classified from the same group. These animals change because they adapt to different conditions that nature provides them. Now, I'm not sure about the evolution of birds and yes, they might have evolved from reptiles but I'm almost positive that no bird belongs to reptiles. Being a descendant of something doesn't mean that you belong to it.
itssosparkly 21
Yeah, I may be descended from him, but I'm not my Grandpa Jack. I don't think so anyway.
Soloman212 28
101; we're not saying birds are dinosaurs, we're saying that they're kinda reptiles like the dinosaurs were, just like you're kinda human like your Grandpa Jack was/is.
xDMACx12 7
76- do us all a favor, just go jump in a big pile of your own shrooms... ******* teemo, stupid yordles... AHHHHH!!!
mikemillzy92 6
Hmm well according to my biology professor feathers are just evolved scales and if you look on a chickens leg you will see what appears to be scales...so that's a valid question.
Raesin 21
By the looks of it #37 you skip anything that might even be remotely educational. There were no birds (as you imagine them) in dinosaur times, there were dinosaurs that had feathers and could fly = reptiles. So in fact birds might be considered close to reptiles, as they've even retained their bone structure, the only difference is their warm blood.
littlecuntcats 6
130- That's not the only difference. Birds have lightweight bones with air sacs in between bones.
truth_spitta 0
Gonna get down voted, but aren't we going off of the assumption everybody believes in the theory of evolution? Not saying you're not entitled to your belief system but you're throwing creationism out of the window.
l23VIVE 17
Creationism can be thrown out the window, evolution is a plausible theory and it makes much more sense than "oh humans have always been humans" there i clear evidence that we evolved from apes. Creationism a stupid idea for stupid people
UsernameHere234 13
Birds actually are decedents of dinosaurs. You don't need wiki to tell you that. It's all over the internet and you learn it in first year biology in university if not earlier. Here is your daily biology lesson (yes I know its summer but it won't hurt you). "Reptiles" are a paraphyletic group, which means it includes some but not all descendants and as such birds typically do not fit into it. However, it is because of this odd nomenclature that people get confused, like OP's boss.
LadyMadness 11
61- would it be creepy if I said I know you? Cuz you look awfully like sam's girlfriend You know just saying Also to contribute to this: the classification of Aves has been eliminated and birds are now classified as reptiles. A little fact that a few people might like to know :)
fishwzrd 1
to dispel the current myth, reptiles are no more, they have been reclassified to sauropsids. Birds have also been reclassified as sauropsids due to many similarities that are undisputable. that being said, they are still far enough from said group that they aren't typically discussed with "reptiles" and in fact when scientists refer to birds they use aves and when talking about former "reptiles" use the term non-avian sauropsids. It's a relatively new classification (within 6 years) due to the advances and discoveries of cellular biology.
l23VIVE 17
YouAreMyPrey, I AM a religious troll! And i know we evolved from a common ancestor but that was the first thing that came to min when i was writing that, i apologize for my incorrect use of terms. But either way Creationism is a load of bull crap
swankmrpancake 8
So basically every one who believes that we all came for Adam and Eve are all sinners because incest is wrong but yet every one came from two original people that's F-ed up if you ask me. Just think about it next time you kiss you spouse/partner your really kissing a family member.
LadyMadness 11
197- I don't think 192 was calling people sinners for believing in creationism, I think he/she was just rudely stating his beliefs. Plus the theory of evolution is that many individuals of a population develop the same traits at around the same time period that help them survive and reproduce in their environment. Not one person messing up and creating a whole species. But you support of creationism is completely valid 197 And to everyone else, please respect other people's beliefs :)
truth_spitta 0
So if it is, how come it is still a theory? Nothing solidified?
Soloman212 28
Because we don't have time machines quite yet. We're still working on that part, sorry for the inconvenience.
Shrike 24
truth_spitta- I can't believe people like you still use that argument, I mean, really? The word "theory" has a completely different meaning in the scientific world. In the scientific world, it's basically synonymous with "proven fact". Maybe before trying to run with the big boys, you should learn a little something about the matter you're arguing? I'll help you out: "The formal scientific definition of theory is quite different from the everyday meaning of the word. It refers to a comprehensive explanation of some aspect of nature that is supported by a vast body of evidence. Many scientific theories are so well established that no new evidence is likely to alter them substantially. For example, no new evidence will demonstrate that the Earth does not orbit around the sun (heliocentric theory), or that living things are not made of cells (cell theory), that matter is not composed of atoms, or that the surface of the Earth is not divided into solid plates that have moved over geological timescales (the theory of plate tectonics)...One of the most useful properties of scientific theories is that they can be used to make predictions about natural events or phenomena that have not yet been observed." You're ******* welcome.
Anonymous_1995 2
Hey, guess what! Birds are reptiles! Seems like the majority of you needed to pay attention in your biology class!!! So, before you slam someone for asking an honest question, in this case one where the answer was "Yes," please educate yourself.
Bias_P11 4
There were no flying dinosaurs. Pterosaurs were no Dinosauria, and the only thing that could be considered a flying dinosaur is a bird (although conventions divide them based on physical grounds rather than genetic grounds).
ashanna1229 2
Wikipedia is not the best source and this is why. Thy are officially classified as reptiles now due to the mass amount of similarities especially in their bone structure.
False_Stupidity 42
I seem to recall from school that part of the definition of reptile which helps differentiate them from other egg layers is that they are cold blooded..
l23VIVE 17
Well 204, for one i see no connection between adam&eve incest and creationism being bullshit. But anyway i feel no need to respect other people's beliefs if their beliefs are based on something stupid.
happyapy 16
Determining if one's beliefs are "stupid" is so very subjective. There will always be issues in which there is no definitive answer and you will choose a side. That is your belief and I'm willing to bet that you'd appreciate others not calling you an uneducated ignorant ass hat when they disagree with you. Please extend a similar courtesy.
junjunbun 28
Aren't they? My whole life is a lie! D:
Tracy_Evans 2
Daaaayyummm. Ouch. FYL.
eb0ny 15
Try saying "Daaayyummm. Ouch." out loud. No, seriously. It made me feel properly gangster.
ebonyirony 29
With a fedora and everything?
Link5794 18
I was thinking more like a bowler.
redreynard 14
Well they aren't as different as you think. Birds are descended from dinosaurs.
BatteryAddict 11
He was probably thinking of the Pterosaurs. They come from the reptilian family.
FifBowie 0
Yes..nevertheless birds aren't reptiles anyway. OP, sorry for you but your boss is definitly not very bright haha
22cute 17
Right, that was hundreds of million years ago. Interesting factoid - but it in no way changes the argument. Humans descended from small rodent like creatures less than 5million years ago. Does that make you a rat? I think not. (well....not that fact alone, anyway)
Soloman212 28
No but it makes us mammals. We're not saying that birds are dinosaurs, we're saying they're kinda reptiles.
uJelly24 1
Has nobody heard? THE BIRD IS THE WORD.
chrisp87 11
That is the most ridiculous argument I've seen in a while.
733yoda 9
Birds aren't "descended from" dinosaurs, they are dinosaurs. That would be like saying cows are descended from mammals. they are mammals.
BunnySlippers 6
I wonder how your boss became a boss..
42istheanswer 27
If his job has nothing to do with birds or reptiles, then he could still know a lot about his job..
Danny0522 8
What if OP works in a zoo? O_o
Awsumuzzie 12
66, what if he doesn't? O__o o__O. God, I hate dumb questions. It would've been stated in the FML had the job actually been related to the question the boss asked.
mariah_victoria 0
Because he's such a boss.. ;D LOLOL..mk /:
wastingtimeonFML 7
I would've thought they were kidding as well... Maybe the boss was thinking of pterodactyls!
xblair 11
Is it me or past few FMLs have weird bosses?
Dadothy 8
Wait...birds aren't reptiles?!
brackaman 18
No. Didn't you go to class at all? Birds are marsupials.
SystemofaBlink41 27
53- i thought crabs were marsupials...
Awesomeelliot 11
You sir, are retarted. Birds are just birds. They are a seperate class.
bananagrams 9
You, sir, misspelled retarded. Oh the irony
yuggi1 11
Birds are aves, not reptilian.
Axipiter 24
97 - And "separate". It's not as ironic, but still wrong.
Xephyr 1
Have you heard?
olpally 33
Haven't you heard? Heard what?? That the bird is the word... Have the guys check that out.. Sir, the bird is greater than or equal to the word! Check it again!!! -family guy reference-
RedPillSucks 33
bird is the word?
elguito 22
well if your boss is nice and not an asshole you probably wont get fired. just don't make another stupid mistake.
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
First, the boss sounds like an asshole if OP knows that she's gonna get fired. Second, I fail to see how that was a stupid mistake.
Dracoboxer357 36
And where I work, we call controlling that knee-jerk reaction a Social-Filter. Sorry yours wasn't operating, Op. :P
i_canlickmyelbow 3
Pfffft. Who need social filters?
Mideoyeo 12
I seriously don't understand how these people are allowed to work in higher positions..honesty, is using common sense that hard?!
cptmorgan6 8
I don't think knowing if birds are or aren't reptiles is common sense. Common knowledge, maybe. But common sense, no. Now, looking before crossing the street is common sense.
Roflsauruz 12
I'm sure that's what she actually meant, 31. I made the same mistake in an earlier post and failed to notice it until it was too late.